Josh Hawley Selling Pro-Riot Josh Hawley Mug Mugs

January 6
Josh Hawley Selling Pro-Riot Josh Hawley Mug Mugs

Remember when Senator Josh Hawley strode up to the Capitol like a preening ass on January 6 and gave a clenched-fist salute to the assembled Big Lie protesters, many of whom would later violently breach the seat of government so they could overturn a free and fair election? Well, Hawley, whose judgment remains grotesque, has immortalized this repulsive moment on his campaign merchandise.

Now, for the low, low price of $20 and what’s left of your soul, you can own an official Josh Hawley fist-pump coffee mug, because even a failed coup is worth commemorating.

If you care about your eyes, shield them from the below tweet, and we’ll see you after the break.

HAWLEY HACK: Pour One Out For Josh Hawley, The REAL Victim Of The Capitol Riot

The riot mugs have the tagline “Show-Me Strong,” because Missouri is the Show-Me State, and ever since 2018, Missouri has shown us that it elects unrepentant assholes as senators.

The fundraising email to Hawley’s supporters reads:

Liberals are so easily triggered, and this new mug is really whipping the left into a frenzy. Josh isn’t scared — he’s show-me strong! This Made in America mug is the perfect way to enjoy Coffee, Tea, or Liberal Tears! Check it out below and order one for yourself or any woke friend or family member that way you want to trigger!

This is so goddamn juvenile, and I’m no hypocrite on this point. I also don’t care for Elizabeth Warren's “billionaire tears” mugs. I just don’t want to sip the salty discharge of my enemies — even figuratively. That’s not my thing. I suppose I’m more Vulcan than Klingon.

However, Warren doesn’t plaster her face on the billionaire tears mugs, and she even has a normal face. Also, there are only about 600 billionaires in America. Hawley’s mocking at least 81 million Americans, most of whom don’t have access to private space travel.

HAWLEY HACK: Pour One Out For Old 'Zero Percent' Josh Hawley, Because That's How Many Republicans Love Him

Easily triggered liberal snowflakes aren’t the only ones who might take umbrage at Hawley's attempt to directly profit off the January 6 insurrection. Police officers were seriously injured defending the Capitol and Hawley’s sorry ass from Donald Trump’s mob. At least seven people died as a result of the attack, and some officers were so “triggered” they took their own lives. Congressional staff members were traumatized.

Minimizing the human cost of the insurrection doesn’t make Hawley “strong.” It only shows us that he’s a sociopath.

Oh, and the Made in America mug is, in fact, made in China. Senator Tough On China couldn’t even get that right.

Hawley smugly informed Huff Post that his pro-riot mug is not in fact a pro-riot mug: “This was not me encouraging rioters.” However, even the protesters who didn’t literally break the law supported — and in fact demanded — the effort to overturn the election.

Republicans should’ve collectively shut down Donald Trump’s post-election coup efforts and spent every day after the election saying, “Joe Biden won. There’s nothing anyone can do about it. Now, let’s focus on fixing elections the old-fashioned way — by keeping Black people from voting.” Instead, most of them cowered in fear while Hawley and his fellow traveler on the sedition bandwagon, Ted Cruz, eagerly exploited the situation for their short-term political gain. These scumbags, who lacked the dignity of Tom Cotton and Mike Lee, kept a twisted hope alive for the Big Lie believers who descended on the Capitol.

Neither feel any shame, nor have they experienced any real negative consequences. If a family member or so-called “friend” gag gifts you one of these crappy mugs, tell them to go to hell.


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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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