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Trump Mad You Need ID To Buy Cheerios, But All You Need For Voter Fraud Is A Sexy French Maid Costume

IT'S. NOT. FAIR.

At the end of July, Donald Trump did a rally for a group of collected Florida Men, and he said with a straight face that you need an ID to go to the grocery store:

"You know, if you go out and you want to buy groceries, you need a picture on a card, you need ID," Trump continued. "You go out and you want to buy anything, you need ID and you need your picture."

At the time, defenders of Trump said things like "DURR DURR DURR MAYBE HE MEANT WHEN YOU BUY BEER OR CIGARETTES OR ROMANTIC SEXXX CONDOMS SO YOU DON'T GET YOUR COUSIN PREGGERS AGAIN." (They did not say the thing about romantic supplies. We are just being mean.)

Normal people were like HOW THE FUCK DOES THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES THINK YOU NEED AN ID TO BUY GROCERIES? HOW IS THIS OUR REALITY? STOP IT!

Well, he said it again, and no, he was not talking about beer or wine or contraceptives for #MAGa Cousin Speed Dating Night down at the Shoney's.

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Russia

Master Of Disguise! Wonkagenda For Thurs., Nov. 15, 2018

Trump is a lunatic, Nancy Pelosi prepares for battle, and Facebook really shits the bed. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Russia

Let's Throw A Bunch Of Sh*t At The Wall And Call It The Trump-Russia #SMOKINGGUN

Ready for a DEEP DIVE into Russian fuckery, the likes of which we have only done several times in the past? LET'S DO THIS.

Monday night, we posted a hilarious and wonderful internet article outlining all the reasons we think some sorts of big moves are coming from Robert Mueller very very soon, probably as soon as this week. At almost the exact same time we hit publish, wingnut crazypants moron-ass conspiracy theorist Jerome Corsi went live on his Tumblr to say Mueller had told him last week he was going to be indicted for saying perjuries to the FBI.

It. Was. OMGLOLWTF.

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White House

CNN: Give Jim Acosta Back His Press Pass Or HE WILL KILL AGAIN

OK maybe they're just suing the Trump administration over how it's being all fascist and shit.

CNN is suing Donald Trump, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, and others in an attempt to get Jim Acosta's press credentials restored. CNN attorneys argue that whatever lame excuse the White House fabricated about his beating an intern to death with a microphone, the real reason Trump suspended his White House pass was plain old not liking CNN's coverage, and that there is an unconstitutional violation of the First Amendment.

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Elections

Wingnuts Finding 'Midterm Vote Fraud' In Their Breakfast Cereal

The most intense minds on the internet are hard at work.

The freakout over "widespread" but surprisingly difficult to specify "fraud" in the counting of last week's remaining votes has the wingnuttosphere in a tizzy, with Chief Wingnut Donald Trump tweeting early Monday morning that the Democrats are such huge cheats that really, they should just stop counting the ballots and declare Republicans the winners, which is of course exactly how elections work. The most impressive aspect of this red tide of "fraud" claims is that nobody making them has managed to find any actual stolen votes to report to law enforcement. Instead, they saw changing vote tallies between the partial results from Election Night and a week later, when most or all the ballots have been counted, and then they point and scream like evil pod-damned Donald Sutherland at the end of Invasion of the Body Snatchers (spoiler from 1978).

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Russia

Kellyanne Conway Knows Who Is An Idiot, And It Is Her Husband

Oh boy.

Hello Wonks! With cabinet members getting terminated by Trump faster than his likely (ALLEGED!) unprotected sex induced pregnancies, we figured we'd check in with Kellyanne Conway, who will never leave, to see what she's been up to the past couple of days. Spoiler: she thinks her husband is an idiot.

Conway made multiple appearance on the Sunday shows to spin the "truth" on Trump's replacement of Confederate Keebler Elf Jeff Sessions ...

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Elections

Senator Sinema. Wonkagenda For Tues., Nov. 13, 2018

Sinema wins Arizona election, Trump's just going to "You're Fired" everyone, and the Facebook tries to fix its shitshow. Your morning news brief.

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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WARBLOGGING

Trump's European Vacation. Wonkagenda For Mon., Nov. 12, 2018

World leaders rain on Trump's parade, ICE is detaining even more people, and Democrats are loading their subpoena cannon. Your morning news brief.

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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News

Why Does Trump Keep Going Full Racist On Black Women Reporters? Oh Well Guess We'll Never Know

IT IS A MYSTERY.

When the White House revoked CNN reporter Jim Acosta's hard pass, Sarah Huckabee Sanders's "lie-splanation" was that Acosta had "mistreated" a woman intern when he resisted her attempts to mug him, and if there's anything Donald Trump's administration won't tolerate, it's mistreatment of women. Unless they're reporters or, worse, black women reporters. Then it's game on!

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Post-Racial America

Ted Nugent Being Subtle Again

Guess he'd know from shitholes.

Ted Nugent, a native of Michigan, took to Facebook Wednesday to express his displeasure at the Badger Chevrolet Wolverine State for electing a whole bunch of Democrats, and maybe one Democrat in particular if you know what he means and we think you do.

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Post-Racial America

Fox News Cancels Caravan 'Crisis,' Re-Declares War On Jim Acosta And Sharks And Happy Holidays And ...

These guys are shameless

Good news, everyone! Carol's lake house in Minnesota has checked in "safe" on Facebook from that awful caravan crisis, which unlike what conservatives think about climate change was definitely man-made. You probably recall the story about the Marie Antoinette of Minnesota whom Donald Trump had scared even more shades of white about an invading army of hostile poor people. This "caravan of migrants" would not stop until it reached a state that is only habitable for human life for about two weeks in May. Then would come the raping and pillaging in an undetermined order until even innocent lake houses were "occupied."

Mr. Trump's dystopian imagery has clearly left an impression with some. Carol Shields, 75, a Republican in northern Minnesota, said she was afraid that migrant gangs could take over people's summer lake homes in the state.

"What's to stop them?" said Ms. Shields, a retired accountant. "We have a lot of people who live on lakes in the summer and winter someplace else. When they come back in the spring, their house would be occupied."

What's to stop "them"? Absolutely nothing ... that isn't, say, a midterm election that happened Tuesday! The caravan probably packed it in on Wednesday, because what's the point? All eligible voters have been terrified. Turns out the caravan didn't contain gang members after all but just the electoral version of the creatures from Monsters, Inc. who live on fear.

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Russia

Jim Acosta: American Hero. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Nov. 8, 2018

Another mass shooting, the White House revokes Jim Acosta's press pass, and House Republicans start stabbing each other in the face. Your morning news brief.

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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2018 State and Local Elections

Trump Is Handling The Loss Of The House Exactly As Well As Expected

POORLY. He's handling it POORLY.

RUH ROH. Looks like someone just explained to President Babyshits that he had a really, really bad night last night. Which is probably why he was 25 minutes late for the press conference held downstairs from his bedroom and arrived slurring his words and looking like he slept under a bridge. Then he started talking.

HO. LEE. SHIT.

It started off slow, with the guy whose party took hundreds of millions from Sheldon Adelson, the Koch brothers, and the Mercers -- as well as "in-kind technical assistance" from a foreign power -- shouting about Democrats being bankrolled by "wealthy donors." Then it was on to some made up statistics, his favorite kind.

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Elections

David Brooks Tries On Steve King's Hood, But Like *Moderately* And Whatnot

What's with this guy?

David Brooks, member of the Mediocre White Men Society (his uncle was on the board), is concerned that America is becoming a chocolate city. Brooks scribbled out his scary thoughts in yesterday's New York Times.

Here's the central challenge of our age: Over the next few decades, America will become a majority-minority country. It is hard to think of other major nations, down through history, that have managed such a transition and still held together.

Let's "kick the ballistics" here: "Majority-minority country" is a white supremacist concept. How are the current minorities still "minorities" if we suddenly outnumber what was once the "majority"? I remember an interview with Steven Tyler back in 1998 when he described himself as an "18 year old with 32 years experience!" This is a similarly pathetic denial of reality and the ongoing march of time except also really racist.

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Elections

MSNBC IS SO GAY RIGHT NOW, And Other News To Tide You Over Until The Polls Close

Your ALL-DAY voting day liveblogging post!

What up, America, you votin' so hard right now? Us too!

So we figured we'd just put up an open thread/liveblog of good stuff, bad stuff, fucked up stuff, funny stuff, because it ain't like there's any other breaking news besides OMG VOTING IS SO HOT RIGHT NOW.

As we made the decision to do this post, we were watching the MSNBC, like the common gay liberal we are, and we exclaimed "MSNBC IS SO GAY RIGHT NOW." Jonathan Capehart was on there talking about his husband who works for Senator Heidi Heitkamp's campaign and Josh Barro was sitting there like "Uh huh I am also too a gay leather daddy but I do not have a story about Heidi Heitkamp's campaign at the moment for I have failed at life," and host Craig Melvin was like "I am not gay but most of the other people in this building at any given time are, OH HEY LOOK AN UPDATE ON BETO!"

So that is your MSNBC status report.

Our next updates in this post will be less vapid, or maybe they won't, you can't tell us what to do.

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