Judge Resigns Following Accusations Of Flashing In Starbucks Toilet


O fair Cocktober, ye slayer of perverts and porn-filth fans, ye scourge of bathroom goblins and peen-flashers! Today's Cocktober Update features a judge in Florida who was accused of showing off his man-parts in a Starbucks bathroom on the campus of the University of Miami.

Let's run down the relevant and once again sadly predictable details regarding the now former Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Douglas J. Chumbley:

  • Republican.
  • Bush appointee (Jeb).
  • Juvenile division.
  • Former high school teacher.
  • Married, two kids.

Here is a crazy prediction: within the next week, another Democrat you have never heard of will have to resign his elected position because he had sex with some lady who was not his wife. Concurrently, a married Republican political or law enforcement official with a special interest in protecting our nation's youth will be arrested for masturbating on a public playground wearing a Barney suit with the crotch cut out.

Accused of indecent exposure, Miami-Dade judge resigns [Miami Herald]


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