America's back on track, everyone! The Bush Administration says our nation's precious American Bald Eagles are no longer endangered, so open fire! Sadly, the once-proud eagles have turned out to be like most Americans -- frightened, stupid, exiled to the suburbs and knocked to the ground:
A neighbor, Patti Schuman, said she returned home from dinner with her husband 15 months ago to find a frightened fledgling, with a four-foot wingspan, cowering by their front door after falling -- or being pushed -- from its nest.
"It hunkered down in a corner, next to a plant," until experts brought it back near the nest, Ms. Schuman said.
Yes, young symbol of our country, just cower behind a fucking houseplant and wait for the "experts" to save you. USA USA USA!
Bald Eagles No Longer Endangered, U.S. Says [NYT]