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Jump To Your Feet For the Winners of Our Blasphemous 'On Our Knees For America' Photo-Chopping Contest!

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What an interactive Friday it's been for you worthly Wokette skum! We had a real live book-writing guy drop by, and some of you actually seemed to have read a little farther than the seven chapters we made it. You also added a whole bunch of suggested (and suggestive) two-word article titles to K-Lo's Muppet Crying Game.


And when we noted that the Family Research Council's delightful pray-for-America website seemed to have a stealth agenda, you got up off your knees and fell to the task of remixing it, for Big Larffs. And here is our winner, a fantasia on a theme by Michelangelo and several other mutants, from the incomparable Dean Booth. This is precisely the sort of thing we'd like to think the graphics team at call2fall had in mind all along. More winnahs and runners up and also-rans after the jump! We would warn that there is NSFW content ahead, but if you haven't figured that out yet, you may actually work at the Family Research Council.

"SayItWith Wookies" gifs it the old-skool Blingee try, achieving Second Place with this... well... um... there's dolphins, OK? That works for us.

Third Prize goes to "LaCieca," whose prediction that we'd get "thousands on this theme" was blessedly inaccurate:

And Not-Dishonorable Mention goes to "hillarywhore1" for this rainbow-themed whatever-you-may-call-it:

Wonkette Operative "GF" submitted this frolicsome trio, with additional dialogue by Sam Taylor:

An unidentified operative sent this deceptively simple variation on the original design:

"Jus_Wonderin" offers this praise-filled vignette, complete with inspirational repartee:

Congratulations to all our winners, who each get an "Obamaphone" which they can pick up at their local NSA retail outlet. If you didn't win, BE FUNNIER NEXT TIME.

And finally, this last-minute addition by "JK" which has nothing to do with this contest, but which may well be the first entry for a new one, why the hell not? We doubt that this one will satisfy Tyler Coates either:

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We have been hearing ever since late last week that Michael Cohen is probably about to be arrested and probably going to be indicted on one million charges and probably maybe might be about to try to flip and make a deal so that he doesn't end up in prison for the rest of his natural life. In fact, we have been hanging our hopes on it, because everything else sucks. Sure, we are still filled with joy over how Paul Manafort is on day four of JAIL, MOTHERFUCKER, JAIL, but then we remembered what is happening on the border and what we are saying right now is we need something happy.

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It was a big weekend for the New Cruelty, with the first tent city for kids opening in Texas and immediately becoming the focus of protests, the head of Homeland Security lying about the Trump administration's family separation policy, and one of the architects of that policy, Stephen Miller, telling the New York Times about what a brilliant policy it is. And more and more kids continue to be taken from their families. Let's round up the latest in the ongoing nightmare our crapsack nation has become.

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