justice department

Bill Barr's Got 40 Days Of Fascism Left In Him After All!

Maybe he gets a free just-in-case pardon if he stays 40 more days.

FALSE ALARM, EVERYONE.

The other day, speculation was running rampant that maybe Attorney General Bill Barr might quit early to spend more time telling toy army men to gas tiny toy priests in his great big sandbox in his backyard where he plays and plays and plays all day. It made sense, at least for Barr's self-serving purposes. Donald Trump has reportedly been very angry grrr argh at Barr for saying out loud that there wasn't any major fraud in the election where Joe Biden thumped Trump's sad ass. And it didn't even seem to appease Big Daddy that Barr revealed he had appointed John Durham as a special counsel, so he could continue finding NOT SHIT in his hard-hitting investigation into the Deep State Russia Hoax What Framed Donald Trump.

Trump was maybe gonna FIRE BARR, so Barr was maybe gonna CAN'T FIRE ME I ALREADY QUIT. After all, one thing Bill Barr wants, which he's never getting again, is respectability within his field, and it stood to reason that maybe Barr thought if he wasn't the last rat to drown in a pile of piss and regret as the ship sank, he might have a future after this.

But oh well, Bloomberg is reporting that Barr is choosing to stay with Donald for the sake of the children fascism after all. He can handle 40 more days and 40 more hot and sexxxy nights, right? Maybe he gets a free just-in-case pardon from Trump if he stays. We just don't know. Of course, the caveat in Bloomberg's reporting is that Barr will be staying unless Trump does go ahead and fire him.

In which case LOL.

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justice department

Bill Barr Maybe About To Go All CAN'T FIRE ME IF I QUIT FIRST, HASHTAG #LAWYERED!

Look what you made me do. Look what you made me do. Look what you just made me do, look what you just made me do.

When we last left Frumpy Fascist Attorney General Bill Barr, the leading lights of the Republican Party were accusing him of treason and probably Chinese collusion for failing to be fully committed to the Sparkle Motion of Donald Trump's attempted clown coup. He had reportedly had a frowny face meeting with Trump at the White House, after he said out loud that neither the Justice Department nor the Department of Homeland Security had seen any evidence of any kind of fraud that could change the result of the election. (REMINDER: The result was that Joe Biden beat the shit out of Trump behind the gym, with votes. He will be inaugurated the nation's 46th president on January 20.)

Clearly there's a big part of Barr's jowly face that wants out of this shit. He fancies himself a respected lawyer, a champion among his peers. And he'd really like to get back to respectability. Point being, however it goes down, he doesn't want to be the last syphilitic dementia rat to flop half-deadly off the side of this sinking ship.

Will Trump fire him? Trump is reportedly VERY MAD GRRR ARGH at him, and is doing that thing where he won't say he still loves his big dumb Roy Cohn substitute henchman. But Trump can't fire Barr if Barr quits first, YOU HEAR THAT, TRUMP? BILL BARR MAYBE HATES THIS WHOLE SCHOOL AND IS NEVER COMING BACK AGAIN, MAYBE.

At least that's what the New York Times reported Monday:

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Legal

Your Wonkette: WRONG ABOUT A THING

It had to happen eventually.

It sucks to be wrong. But I was, and I'm here to cop to it. WHAR COOKIE?

On Wednesday, we published a post on an unsealed document in the US District Court of DC. In a heavily redacted order, Chief Judge Beryl Howell overruled claims of attorney-client privilege and granted the government access to communications regarding an alleged pardons-for-bribes scheme.

Hmmmmm, we thought, Gotta be those hairball lawyers Joe diGenova and Victoria Toensing. Rudy Giuliani and them have been making wild assertions of privilege for a year now to cover up all their Ukrainian ratfucking to smear Joe Biden.

NOPE. Not even close.

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justice department

All Fun And Games Until Trump's Biggest Fluffers Start Accusing ... Bill Barr? ... Of Treason?

They're eating each other. And we get to watch for free!

We've reached the point in the saga of Donald Trump's long, slow, petulant waddle out of the White House where his biggest sycophants are eating each other. So that's fun.

After Attorney General Bill Barr told the Associated Press that it was pretty clearly obvious that there was no widespread election fraud, the knives were out for Barr, who is definitely the Deep State now. Yes, that Bill Barr. Fascist Bible gassing Bill Barr. Investigate the investigators to find out who put Wire Tapps inside Donald Trump's bottom Bill Barr. Same guy. Definitely the Deep State now. Probably always has been. Probably did Pizzagate with Hillary Clinton and is sexting pictures of his peen-mound to Peter Strzok right this very minute.

We discussed yesterday that it seems pretty clear to us that Barr is about ready to, in some measured, well-choreographed way, get off this Trump crime train. Indeed, in his vainglorious shitwit brain, we wouldn't be surprised if he's not harboring fantasies of actually being the one to land the plane. "Look, I was an institutionalist the whole time!" he will say, to no one who is listening. "I protected America from Donald Trump's worst instincts!" We betcha. Trump is reportedly thinking about firing Barr, by the way, which would just be another way, in Barr's mind, of re-establishing his credibility once Trump is nothing more than an orange shart cloud in America's rear view mirror.

We also discussed yesterday just how completely fuckbonkers Trump's loyalists have gotten, now sharing conspiracy theories about RELEASE THE KRAKEN, which they say consists of secret raids on CIA facilities that don't exist, to seize vote-flipping servers that do not exist, carried out by Army battalions that literally don't even do operations like that, resulting in the deaths of five heroic servicemembers who didn't die. The conspiracy theory seems to have at least partially been invented by a disgraced and possibly senile retired Air Force lieutenant general named Thomas McInerney,

Now those two stories are coming together, because look what McInerney said about Bill Barr yesterday, just kidding we can't wait to tell you, HE ACCUSED BILL BARR OF TREASON.

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