Keith Ellison Shocker: Thomas Jefferson Hated America!
Tomorrow, the 110th Congress will be sworn in (the nation be will unemployed, aflame, and overrun by Human-Animal Hybrid Rights Terrorists by Monday). Only one new Congressman has managed to stir up any excitement about this boring photo-op: Keith Ellison (Terrorist-MN), the first Muslim elected to the House of Representatives.
Last month, Rep. Virgil Goode wrote a crazy letter in which he promised to deport the Minnesota-born Ellison before him and his jihadist buddies took over the House and made our children into Arabs who had to pledge allegiance to the French flag and get gay married. Goode's main concern was that Ellison asked to be sworn in with the Koran. Today's Reliable Source reports Ellison's new plan: he'll be sworn in with the most patriotic goddamn Koran ever:
Yet the holy book at tomorrow's ceremony has an unassailably all-American provenance. We've learned that the new congressman -- in a savvy bit of political symbolism -- will hold the personal copy once owned by Thomas Jefferson.
This is probably wiser than our plan, should we ever be elected to Congress, to swear in with Ozzy Osbourne's copy of Crowley's The Book of the Law.