KerrySex: Because Everyone Knows How Reliable Friendster Is
Lloyd Grove becomes the first "mainstream" journalist to use The Woman In Question's Friendster profile as a news source, but look how dignified he is about it: "About Me: just another hot piece of a-- with a philosophy degree and a love for old movies." See? He didn't spell out "ass"! With high journalism standards like that, it's no wonder he left the Washington Post. He covers his own a-- with a ritual incantation: "There's no way of knowing for sure." But, he continues, "after checking with folks who know her," he believes it is. "Yesterday, a person listed by the 'online social networking community' as a Friendster 'friend' said that yes, it's the same" Non-Monica. Of course, no one lies on Friendster. And hey, that sounds a little like this "reporting" thing we've heard so much about. Who do you think he got to confirm the story? Perhaps the popular Friendster 'friend' Homer Simpson? Or the more trustworthy Jesus Christ?
Whatevs. What's really exciting is the new precedent being set here: Once, you had to be the former lover of a leading presidential candidate to get your Friendster profile quoted in a major paper. What a silly, elitist standard. Grove has leveled the playing field: Now it just has to be rumored that you're the former lover of a leading presidential candidate. Or, hey, as long as the profile is embarrassing enough, who cares who you are! We're going to start working on ours now.