Donate

Kid Who Guessed 'Wasilla' Was Famous Wasilla Person Sarah Palin's Hometown 'Guilty' On Two Counts

News

Would you like to play 'Don't fuck with an insane celebrity lady?'Hooray for Justice: The college kid in Tennessee who correctly guessed the hometown of Wasilla's ex-mayor Sarah Palin has his verdict. David Kernell, the 22-year-old who "hacked" into Palin's Yahoo email -- which she was illegally using to conduct government business -- is officially guilty on two counts.


Obstruction of Justice and Unauthorized Access of a snow-witch's computer, Kernell has been found guilty of those two charges. Don't know which combination of Not guilty of wire fraud, mistrial on identity theft -- the jury had deadlocked on the fourth charge, identity theft. Kernell faced up to HALF A CENTURY IN PRISON for guessing an idiot celebrity's email password hint.

The "unauthorized access" is a misdemeanor, duh, but the Obstruction of Justice carries up to 20 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. FOR GUESSING AN IDIOT'S PASSWORD HINT. [WBIR/CNN]

$
Donate with CC

It's the night before the two-night Democratic primary debate extravaganza, and we're already tired. Turns out having 20 candidates spread across two nights when only six or eight of them matter is not the must-see TV we all thought it was going to be! But that's not to dissuade you from getting excited! We're excited! We're so excited! We're so ...

Giphy

SCARED!

In case you need a reminder, here is how it's going to go down:

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Lately he's been blowing smoke from another orifice.

After a cursory examination of the TWELVE filings in the case against California Congressman Duncan Hunter just in the past 24 hours, we can confidently declare that that guy is a fucking idiot. The prosecutors have him by every last one of his short and curlies -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to pay for hundreds of thousands of dollars of ski trips, video games, tuition, and plane tickets for the family rabbit.

A rational human being would have pleaded down a year ago and given up his congressional seat, since he could cash out and make a lot more money as a lobbyist anyway. But not Duncan Hunter! He made the federal government chase him down and document every last carton of cigarettes, round of tequila, and Uber ride of shame home from his many girlfriends' houses in a 60-count indictment filed last August. And still this dumb sumbitch refused to admit he was caught, even after his lovely wife (and co-conspirator) Margaret Hunter flipped on him this month -- which is what happens when you use your campaign credit card to carry on multiple affairs and you piss off the US Attorneys enough that they put every 7 a.m. Uber ride in your indictment.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc