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'Kill Top' Oil Monster Supposedly Top-Killed, Obama Bans Deep Sea Wells

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Here is the famous live feed of the BP oil-hole in the seafloor, and according to the robots we must now trust with Everything, the bold scheme to pump a billion tons of filth & garbage atop/inside the spewing crude wound has "worked," and everything's better now! Oh yeah and Obama fired the mineral agency chief, and the well has actually been shooting out some 19,000 gallons barrels of black goo per day, not 5,000 as BP kept saying.

WWL reports:

There is currently no oil leaking into the Gulf of Mexico from the well that had been spewing crude into the sea for more than a month.

"They've stopped the hydrocarbons from coming up," National Incident Commander Thad Allen told WWL First News. "They've been able to stabilize the well head, they are pumping mud down it."

Hooray? Meanwhile, former offshore-oil-drilling fanatic Barack Obama will announce a six-month deepwater-drilling moratorium. He'll also cancel drilling plans offshore in Virginia and Alaska, which should make Sarah Palin very concerned about her neighbor writing a book. Books?! At a time like this?

Stocks are rallying! [Washington Post/Reuters]

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