Know What Your Top Ten Needs After This Awful Week? It Needs Wonkette Baby Pictures.
Wonkette baby is pleased with the president and also too the future president
Sheesh. What a sad, terrible, violent week. It is time for your top ten weekend reading list, though, and it is Saturday morning, so let us smile together, drink coffee and love the hell out of one another like John Lewis told us to. Oh, and let's look at a bunch of new Wonkette Baby pictures!
But first, if you LOVE WONKETTE MANY TIMES (you do) and want to keep Wonkette Baby happy (and also Becca and Evan and Dok and Robyn), you should click this linky to toss us $5, $10 or $25, to support the very hard work we do for you every day! Please help! By raining money upon us!
While you are pulling out your wallet, here's the traditional picture of Wonkette Baby Donna Rose being a scary lion, because why not.
YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW.
Shall we now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé, ALLEGEDLY? Yes we shall!
1. Why Hillary Clinton will not rot in prison for all her aggravated emailing. It is your ultimate #emails wonksplainer!
2. You guys? We have a deep, sober, thoughtful president. THAT'S SO WEIRD.
3. SPLODEY HEADS ARE SPLODING ALL OVER YOUR WEEKLY TOP TEN! Yes, LAST week's top ten list is the #3 story of THIS week. So catch up on last week's news while you're here!
4. Last Sunday's Deleted Comments: Oh goody! It's time for some "pro-lifers" to carry out some vigilante justice!
5. Last week's entry in our 57-state series on all the US American Senate races: Dinesh D'Souza's favorite candidate takes on Amy Schumer's favorite cousin!
6. Poor Gretchen Carlson was fired from Fox News, allegedly for failing to make intercourse on Roger Ailes's penis stick.
7. Sarah Palin spilled her Boone's Farm IN RAGE over Lyin' Hillary's email tyranny.
8. H.A. "Hahahaha" Goodman: We are VERY sorry for your loss, and are also too LOLing at you.
9. The FBI refuses to imprison Hillary Clinton for being history's most monstrous AOL free trial user.
10. And finally, NO FAIR! Macy's can't lock people up and charge them for shit they didn't even steal anymore. How is that even legal?
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories. They are very good stories!
OK, Wonkers, you have one task left before we give you MOAR BABBY PICTURES, and this is it. You need to sign up for the Wonkette newsletter, RIGHT NOW! It is the best of all the newsletters, even better than all your neighbors who bitch on NextDoor about everything they can think of to bitch about!