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Hey, who's tired of reading actual "information" in the handful of remaining legitimate news outlets quietly dying out in America? Persecuted swamp monsters Charles and David Koch are growing tired of watching their feudalist political philosophies maligned in the media, so they have looked around and said to themselves, "oh shit, let's justbuy the media." Koch Industries is in talks to buy the Tribune Company's eight newspapers. We, for one, are excited to see Chuck Norris's work in the opinion pages of the Los Angeles Times. For information, however, we are pretty much going to rely on official press releases,  Reddit crowdsourcing, and blogs from here on out. USA! USA! USA!


From the NY Times:

Three years ago, Charles and David Koch, the billionaire industrialists and supporters of libertarian causes, held a seminar of like-minded, wealthy political donors at the St. Regis Resort in Aspen, Colo. They laid out a three-pronged, 10-year strategy to shift the country toward a smaller government with less regulation and taxes.

The first two pieces of the strategy — educating grass-roots activists and influencing politics — were not surprising, given the money they have given to policy institutes and political action groups. But the third one was: media.

That would be the LIBRUL media, duh, only don't worry! According to an attendee of the annual crotchety villain conclave in Aspen, the Koch brothers do not want to eradicate the competition; they just want to "make sure their voice is heard." Comforted? We are! Or then there is this blatant lie:

One person who has previously advised Koch Industries said the Tribune Company papers were considered an investment opportunity, and were viewed as entirely separate from Charles and David Kochs’ lifelong mission to shrink the size of government.

Ha ha, purchasing newspapers as an "investment opportunity." At least puke out a response that sounds believable, like you want to bring Cathy back to the comics section or something, jeez.

[NY Times]

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Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

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Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
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It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

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