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Ladies, Mitt Romney's Former Economic Adviser Thinks Your Vagina Is Just Like A Garage

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You've probably been staying up late, losing sleep, wondering how Mittens could have lost in 2012 so bad and also, too, whatever became of the dream team that was supposed to get him elected King of America. Well, worry no more because those dudes are keepin' on keepin' on, coming up with fresh hot new ideas about how having a baby is just like owning a Porsche.


As some conservatives continue to push the dim-witted talking point about being “forced” to “buy maternity coverage,” former Romney economic adviser Greg Mankiw explains why it’s cool for insurance companies to leave greedy bitches holding the bag for maternity care. [...]

"But having children is more a choice than a random act of nature. People who drive a new Porsche pay more for car insurance than those who drive an old Chevy. We consider that fair because which car you drive is a choice. Why isn’t having children viewed in the same way?"

Yeah, ladies! Everyone knows your vagina is just like storage for your luxury baby item. Why make Greg Mankiw pay for your gaping vagina garage when his penis probably can't even house one of those tiny little Smart cars?

This analogy doesn't break down ANYWHERE, you guys. It is air fucking tight. Except for the part where sometimes a lady is not in control of who wants to park a Porsche in their vagina, or the part where generally someone is not able to force you to keep a Porsche in your vagina if you no longer want a Porsche, or the part where buying a Porsche doesn't mean you have to care for the Porsche every moment of every day until the Porsche is able to stay home alone when it is 11 or so, or the part where you have to pay for the Porsche to go to college, or the part where you can't return the Porsche and get a bitchin' Camaro instead, or the part where if you can't afford to house the Porsche, society gets to pay to park it in your vagina AND give it oil changes and car washes the rest of its life. But except for that part, Greg Mankiw is totally right and America should listen to him better in 2016 because these ideas are winners.

[Mediaite]

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'Bella" by Wonkette Operative 'IdiokraticSubpoenaKommissar'

Sunday already, which means a substantial portion of US America is preparing to be astonished/heartbroken/outraged by the series finale of that show with the dragons, while another portion is just going to stay off Twitter for three days because nothing will make any sense. Yr Dok Zoom tends to come very late to trendy things, so get ready for our own thoughts on the gamy thrones show sometime in about 2023, or never. But we'd be glad to tell you just how much we enjoy the brilliance and humanity of the Cartoon Network series "Steven Universe," which debuted in 2013 and we started bingeing on the Hulu last month, late again.

Hell, we still want to talk about that one Mrs Landingham episode of "The West Wing," which we first watched years after it aired (We finally bought our new used car yesterday, and know one thing: don't drive over to the White House to show it off to President Bartlet). We might even get around to reading Infinite Jest someday. We hear it has something to do with a superhero team and a guy named Thanos. So hey, let's talk about culture and missing out and patching together some knowledge of what's happening anyway.

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Get Me Roger Stone

Roger Stone, his wife would like you to know, is broke. And he is not dealing with it well. Once in khaki suits, gee, he looked swell, full of that yankee-doodle-dee-dum, but now no one calls him Al anymore and he has to stand on a street corner singing "Brother Can You Spare A Dime?"

Yesterday, the conservative but also kind of Never Trumper site The Bulwark revealed the details of a grifty "fundraising" plea sent out by Stone's wife Nydia, begging supporters to give money to the Stones in order to help them keep up the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

It was titled "I am embarrassed to write this."

"Dear Friend," begins the missive. "My husband and I have an urgent new problem and we need your help. I told my husband I was going to write you, one of his most valued supporters. I am embarrassed to write this, but I must."

"Mrs. Roger Stone" tells a tale of woe: FBI agents swooping in on them at the crack of dawn to arrest her husband, a subsequent "fake news" feeding frenzy causing friends and fans to abandon the Stones.

"He laid off all our consultants, contractors and employees, and we have 'pulled in our belts' like so many Americans in 'tight times,'" she wrote, sounding for all the world like a plucky working-class patriot, not the wife of a man who made and lost his fortune lying in the service of power.

She should have been more embarrassed.

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