Ladies, Mitt Romney's Former Economic Adviser Thinks Your Vagina Is Just Like A Garage
You've probably been staying up late, losing sleep, wondering how Mittens could have lost in 2012 so bad and also, too, whatever became of the dream team that was supposed to get him elected King of America. Well, worry no more because those dudes are keepin' on keepin' on, coming up with fresh hot new ideas about how having a baby is just like owning a Porsche.
As some conservatives continue to push the dim-witted talking point about being “forced” to “buy maternity coverage,” former Romney economic adviser Greg Mankiw explains why it’s cool for insurance companies to leave greedy bitches holding the bag for maternity care. [...]
"But having children is more a choice than a random act of nature. People who drive a new Porsche pay more for car insurance than those who drive an old Chevy. We consider that fair because which car you drive is a choice. Why isn’t having children viewed in the same way?"
Yeah, ladies! Everyone knows your vagina is just like storage for your luxury baby item. Why make Greg Mankiw pay for your gaping vagina garage when his penis probably can't even house one of those tiny little Smart cars?
This analogy doesn't break down ANYWHERE, you guys. It is air fucking tight. Except for the part where sometimes a lady is not in control of who wants to park a Porsche in their vagina, or the part where generally someone is not able to force you to keep a Porsche in your vagina if you no longer want a Porsche, or the part where buying a Porsche doesn't mean you have to care for the Porsche every moment of every day until the Porsche is able to stay home alone when it is 11 or so, or the part where you have to pay for the Porsche to go to college, or the part where you can't return the Porsche and get a bitchin' Camaro instead, or the part where if you can't afford to house the Porsche, society gets to pay to park it in your vagina AND give it oil changes and car washes the rest of its life. But except for that part, Greg Mankiw is totally right and America should listen to him better in 2016 because these ideas are winners.