Lamar Alexander's Aide And The Lighter Side of Child Porn Allegations

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Oh, damn, Wonkers, you know what the adorable kittens mean, don't you? The adorable kittens mean we have a story about something terrible and we're going to try to buffer it with something sweet and cute. Does that work, or is it just going to make you guys start feeling sad whenever you see an adorable kittycat?


So let's just get it over with: Tennessee Sen. Lamar Alexander's chief of staff, Ryan Loskarn, is the subject of a child pornography investigation. Loskarn was taken away from his home in handcuffs this morning while agents from the Postal Service searched his home. Yick. We will try very hard to make an amusing joke about the Postal Service being the ones investigating this nastiness... um... something something we never get our kiddie porn delivered on time? No?

Anyway, Alexander immediately placed Loskarn on administrative leave without pay and said his office would fully cooperate with investigators, which of course is what you do in a situation like this. And wouldn't it be lovely if we had a government where "what to do when an aide is arrested for (alleged) sex crimes" was something we had absolutely no framework for, like with Iceland and police shootings?

In any case, we would far prefer our Dicktember be filled with tales of embarrassing, preferably kinky, consensual sex between adults, not this sort of slime. At this point, the only possible good that can come out of this is that some wingnut will strain themselves trying to attribute Loskarn's behavior to abortion, gay marriage, or Obamacare. Long term, we would like to investigate options for encouraging far more ill-advised sexytime between consenting adults in Washington. Surely there's a grant proposal to be written, some foundation money for a pilot project?

Please Congress, won't you think of the bloggers?

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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