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So here is how it went: First Michele Bachmann screeched about how our dastardly Usurper got a total Death to Amerikkka Boner when he murdered our Libyan ambassador in BENGHAZIIIIIII, and then Michele Bachmann told somedumb lies about the five chefs who fly on Air Force One and the "presidential dogwalker" and $1.4 billion in derp. (It was CPAC. Dumb lies is how they do.) Then CNN was all, "Pardon us, Congresswoman, about your dumb lies that are dumb? There is no White House dogwalker and derp?" Then Michele Bachmann was all, "Pffft, nice reporting, slut! Why would you bring up something so insignificant as the White House dogwalker when the president is busy murdering the entire diplomatic corps?" And Dana Bash was like, "Wait a minute, I did not bring up the White House budget, YOU brought up the White House budget!" And Michele Bachmann was all, "I do not think so, I would never be so disingenuous, especially not now, while I am running away from you. Exit, stage left even!"


Since the stupid CNN video of Michele Bachmann sprinting off for her Olympic 100 meter trials is unembeddable, you can watch it over there we guess. Whatever CNN. Way to Internet!

So that is some morning fun for you. BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE! Michele Bachmann also told some dumb lies about how 70 percent of food stamps go to bureaucrats -- we guess that's what we are calling "Walmart workers" today -- and the Washington Post was all, "Pardon us, Congresswoman Bachmann, could we have a word?"

Indeed, could they have many? Bachmann's bizarre assertion that 70 percent of poverty spending goes to bureaucrats was based on the work of this libertarian Cato Institute dude, Michael Tanner:

On page 96, Tanner noted:

In reality, however, the money is siphoned off by the bureaucrats, administrators, service providers, and others who make up the social welfare system. Robert Woodson, president of the National Center for Neighborhood Enterprise, reports that in 1965, 70 percent of every dollar went director to poor people. Today, 70 cents of every door goes, not to poor people but to government bureaucrats and others who serve the poor. Few private charities have the bureaucratic overhead and inefficiency of government programs.

In a footnote to the “70 cents” sentence, Tanner emphasized: “It is important to note that the 70 percent figure is not solely government administrative overhead. That figure also includes government payments to the nonpoor on behalf of the poor. For example, Medicaid payments go to doctors. Housing subsidies are frequently paid directly to landlords.

Cool "footnote" bro. In the same way, almost 100 percent of food stamp muneez pad the pockets of the fatcats in Big Grocery.

But despite the fact that libertarian Cato Institute guy Tanner had that reasonably important information in a footnote, did he still have a problem with the way Ol' Crazy Eyes used his work? Sure, why not!

Asked about Bachmann’s claim, Tanner said: “That’s not what I said.”

Sure, he said some other shitty thing. KEEP YOUR SHITTY THINGS STRAIGHT, MICHELE.

The Washington Post gave Bachmann 157 burning Pinocchios, or, in metric, one-half an Ahmed Chalabi, two-thirds of a Dick Morris, or a MilliRush.

[CNN / WaPo]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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And now for some very serious TUT TUTTING! It's time again for Republicans to make sad words about President Treason McTraitorpants selling out the country. This time they are seriously concerned, nay even deeply troubled, that Donald Trump would stand next to Vladimir Putin and pretend the Russians didn't hack the 2016 election. These patriotic Republicans are shocked, SHOCKED! Well, not, like, upset enough to do anything about it -- not with a fascist carpooler to jam into the Supreme Court. But they've got tweets, so it's all good!

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Republicans are in a pickle. Midterms are coming up and the party in the White House usually loses seats in those elections. It doesn't help their chances that their guy Donald Trump frolics through fields holding hands with self-made Russian dictator and coincidental poisoner Vladimir Putin, who our own justice department believes attacked our mostly free elections and our true national monument, the Internet.

If you're as old as I am, you'll recall that back in the 1980s, the whole Republican brand involved not trusting the Ruskies, and they were especially disappointed when Kevin Costner turned out to be one in No Way Out. Now, the current Republican president is talking like some kind of crazy commie lib, bashing the FBI and giving the benefit of the doubt to a former KGB agent. During an interview Sunday where he wore a hat with "USA" in big letters on it, presumably so someone could easily return him if he got lost on the field trip, Trump went so far as to call the European Union a "foe" of his country, which if you believe his hat is supposedly the United States not Russia.

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