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Last of Earth's Oil Spilling Into Gulf of Mexico, To Be Burned

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  • This week's stuff we can't stop from pouring out of the Earth's crust is ... oil! And like that Icelandic volcano, the Gulf oil spill is one of those disasters you hear about and then forget and then it keeps popping up in the news again and suddenly it's UH OH NO WAY TO STOP THIS. The British Petroleum-leased rig exploded on April 20, and eleven workers were presumably killed in the blast. Every day since, some 42,000 gallons of crude oil have poured out of the hole at the end of the 5,000-foot-long pipe. But now, BP says the well is spewing more than 200,000 gallons per day. If the company can't stop the spill, the Department of Defense will take over. The Coast Guard has already begun burning the oil off the sea's surface. At least the sheets of oil rolling onto the Louisiana coastline this morning are the "color and texture of iced tea." Mmm, tea! America loves tea. [New York Times/Wall Street Journal]
  • Hugo Chavez bravely called up the Remember the 28th of April revolutionary social-networking guard and will soon win Twitter back from the capitalist running dog-pigs in Venezuela who use Twitter all the time in opposition of Hugo Chavez, who has just learned to Twitter. Viva la twat! [BBC News]
  • Highlights of Laura Bush's new book include that one time when she killed her high-school boyfriend and quit believing in God, and that other time in Germany a couple years ago when she thought somebody poisoned George W. with the stomach flu. Sorry we skipped this yesterday, on purpose. [Guardian]
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