Last Week's Shots: Ridiculous Generalizations Will Suffice

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Welcome to the Wonkette's newest (and already beloved) feature, Last Week's Shots -- the best of the exclusive Late Night Shots forums. Last week's post was a huge success, and we're sure our partnership will continue to bring forth joy and laughter for all involved. As she cherry picks our favorite website, Intern Lauren warns that the children of America's elite are not to be underestimated. We all remember Loomis Chaffee alum and MTV VJ Jesse Camp, right?


The Fop, the Rake and the beating heart of white supremacy, after the jump.

RE: Halloween

Posted By: MODERN? on 10-31-2006 3:32 pm

Who keeps recommending modern? That place alienated all normal people in town a couple years ago when it placed a $20 door cover and basically catered to the McLean Arab crowd. Don't ruin other people's night by steering them to that dump.

RE: What if.....

Posted By: question on 11-03-2006 8:01 pm

How many women are there on any given night at Smith Point who purposefully didn't take their pill that morning with the hopes of getting impregnated by a $30k/year Hill staffer? I bet 15-20 on a good night.

How many drinks...

Posted By: Onic Man on 11-03-2006 1:35 pm

...does it take for you to lose respect for women?

For me it's around seven.

At 12, I start shotgun-spraying weird text messages.

RE: How many drinks...

Posted By: obvi on 11-03-2006 1:44 pm

0

Hampden Sydney

Posted By: Single on 11-05-2006 2:50 am

My roommate has recently started seeing a guy from Hampden Sydney. My interaction with these boys is admittedly limited, but they seem very fratty. Can someone please give me the general stereotype for HS grads (ridiculous generalizations will suffice).

RE: Hampden Sydney

Posted By: King Turbo on 11-05-2006 1:43 pm

JV All Stars at best

RE: Hampden Sydney

Posted By: Girls' School on 11-05-2006 1:44 pm

Clearly, a school that was rated a top party school by Playboy isn't JV, King Turbo. Good try, though.

What's the saying? All white lines lead to Hampden-Sydney?

RE: Hampden Sydney

Posted By: Analysis on 11-05-2006 1:45 pm

While HS grads may be the guys handing you the keys to your Enterprise rent-a-car, when it comes to boozing and takedowns it could be argued that they are varsity.

RE: Hampden Sydney

Posted By: truth on 11-05-2006 2:26 pm

sounds like we have a grade A gdi on our hands, most likely a fag as well

RE: Hampden Sydney

Posted By: King Turbo on 11-05-2006 3:51 pm

Moi, a GDI...amusing. Just because you grow out your hair, cloth yourself in Patagonia and wear visors from quasi-exclusive clubs does not make you a frat star. And one more thing, if you talk about snow skiing in the off season and think it is cool to announce your trips to the SP bathroom...you are A) a poser and B) a JV Allstar-at best. If you sh!t from shinola about anything you would know to keep it on the DL, but what do I know, I am just a Turbo...

RE: Social Norms

Posted By: slippery on 11-03-2006 2:44 pm

how many times does it generally come out for most people during intoxicated lovemaking sessions. i'm at 3-4, but if i'm using pharmaceutical assistance then maybe only once. i also feel more comfortable if the girl is not attractive at all.

RE: Social Norms

Posted By: fetishist on 11-03-2006 2:56 pm

i also am more comfortable with unattractive girls. if it's a 1 night stand, i prefer a 6 or below. it is usually much more satisfying.

RE: Social Norms

Posted By: Snowflake on 11-03-2006 2:58 pm

more satisfying because there is less pressure?

RE: Social Norms

Posted By: dope on 11-03-2006 2:59 pm

Yeah, a lot less pressure. It's just so easy to do it again too...you've always got the sure thing at the end of the night if nothing good comes along...and usually that sure thing is not that attractive. oh well.

RE: Social Norms

Posted By: fetishist on 11-03-2006 3:01 pm

no, more comfortable because i get to look forward to the morning. i live with 3 guys and every saturday morning whoever brought home someone unattractive has to find a way to get them out of the house without anyone else seeing them. i usually jam my door shut and then make then climb out the window and use the ladder i have which takes them 2 stories down to the ground. if any of us see someone's ugly conquest drinks are on them the next time we go out. it really raises the stakes on the consequences of hooking up with ugly girls, and the anxiety i feel while making love to them makes it all the more pleasurable.

Elevated Tastes

Posted By: King Turbo on 11-02-2006 6:52 pm

Quick poll: who out there can tell a difference between the classic Gucci bit loafer and the Cole Haan knock offs and if so what are the real differences...this is a test.

RE: Elevated Tastes

Posted By: Alden shoes on 11-02-2006 6:55 pm

Probably the best all around shoe made in America.

RE: Elevated Tastes

Posted By: Sensitive Shaver on 11-02-2006 6:56 pm

Belgian Shoes, a nice alternative.

The Guccis have become the post-college version of the 990s.

RE: Elevated Tastes

Posted By: appreciated on 11-02-2006 6:56 pm

Shaved...amazing parallel. My hat's off.

RE: Elevated Tastes

Posted By: King Turbo on 11-02-2006 6:59 pm

Agreed that they are more mainstream now and that everyone has a pair, but it all about having the arsenal...at least 6 pairs in various soles and leathers. Shaver, which Belgian shoes are you referring?

RE: Elevated Tastes

Posted By: Sensitive Shaver on 11-02-2006 7:03 pm

The Ostrich model is too aggressive. I have a light brown lizard loafer.

The baller option on the Belgian is that you wear them ~15 times, then ship them back to Europe to have them custom a bottom sole. They end up fitting like a 14 yearold piece of snapper on your Dong.

RE: Ultimate Turbo Mobile

Posted By: Again, No Yeoman on 11-01-2006 6:13 pm

listen you turbo crouton:

money does not, and will not ever, equate class or compensate for lack of good breeding. as such, you cannot glorify some afterthought of a florida panhandle beachvegas town using money and billionaire residency as justification.

seeing as though waterfront property is in high demand in our society, it should come as no surprise that there are nm showys residing in said town, and similar ones across the country (since they don't know- or care- about non-monetary differences between real estate in edgartown and panama city.)

however, simply because some country club development catering to the nouveau riche (that can't get in anywhere else) gets rated 5 stars by the summer intern at michelin, the entire town is not any less tacky or turbolicious.

while you go do some research on how to get into a club in an exclusive summer town on the cape, i will continue to be an ignorant single comma small-timer that thinks the ritz is jv- even though billionaires stay there.

amount of time before engagement?

Posted By: when to pop the q on 11-06-2006 2:03 pm

passage of the 4 seasons?

after a particularly hot take down?

meeting of the parents/family?

RE: amount of time before engagement?

Posted By: ... on 11-06-2006 2:04 pm

at least after the age of 28 for guys

RE: amount of time before engagement?

Posted By: age range on 11-06-2006 2:12 pm

girl cannot be over the age of 24, guy can't be under 30. once a girl reaches 24 it is becoming extremely difficult to get married.

Catch Immigrants LIVE

Posted By: Get em on 11-06-2006 3:04 pm

http://www.texasborderwatch.com/

RE: Catch Immigrants LIVE

Posted By: Militia on 11-06-2006 3:07 pm

Who do we contact when we see a wetback coming across?

RE: Catch Immigrants LIVE

Posted By: Crossing over on 11-06-2006 3:10 pm

You're not a "wetback" if you walk across the border you jackass. You're a "wetback" if you take a raft/swim from Cuba.

RE: Catch Immigrants LIVE

Posted By: well... on 11-06-2006 3:11 pm

Is the Rio Grande not wet?

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