Last Week's Shots: Shh-Shh....It's Just Me, Casper!

victoryiniraq.jpgWelcome to this week's installment of Last Week's Shots, our new feature that takes you inside the invitation-only social networking site Late Night Shots. LNS is exclusive because when you've been given every advantage in life, you have uncommonly developed interests and problems, like cocaine. Plus, you're just so smart that regular people are, well, embarrassing. Intern Lauren brings you her best ethnographic fieldwork on what to do if you accidentally rape your girlfriend, uglies, and UVA's Greek Culture.


The constructivist and the relativist, after the jump.

Need Help Immediately

Posted By: might have crosed the line on 10-31-2006 4:24 pm

I am in an awkward situation. Since anything seems to go on this forum, please answer me. I have been hanging out with a girl for about a month, we started sleeping together pretty early and have pretty much done everything. This weekend I went and got blacked the f out at the halloween party, don't remember much but this is what happened. i woke up at her place the next morning and thought it would be pretty cool to wake her up by having sex with her. so i started doing this, she seemed fine, and i thought she was awake, but she wasn't and when she woke up she got kind of mad. And it was the type of mad where she doesn't really say anything but you know she's pissed. It's been weird since. Was that wrong of me to do, and is there anything like flowers that I can give to fix it? Noisewater?

RE: Need Help Immediately

Posted By: man law on 10-31-2006 4:26 pm

I'd suggest you find a safe house, maybe lay low for awhile. I'd also start looking for a lawyer.

RE: Need Help Immediately

Posted By: wow on 10-31-2006 4:34 pm

i think the word "might" have crossed the line is the key to this whole situation. i mean she "might" press charges or she "might" not talk to you again...but at least you got some!!

RE: Need Help Immediately

Posted By: nonsense on 10-31-2006 4:36 pm

how do not know if somebody you are doing is awake or not?

RE: Need Help Immediately

Posted By: dumbass on 10-31-2006 4:37 pm

what is drunk person supposed to say to that, "yes, you should be very very concerned" ??

RE: Need Help Immediately

Posted By: Ken Noisewater, MD on 10-31-2006 4:43 pm

Well, as it turns out, this sort of thing actually happens all the time, so you are not alone. The techincal term for it is "rape."

In all seriousness, if it was not the first time you guys had slept together, I think you have an opportunity to make things right by apologizing, explaining, and possibling sharing a whole meal of food. If it was the first time you guys had consumated, you need to apologize profusely and repeatedly and DO NOT PUT ANYTHING IN WRITING. Like, say, this, for instance. And you might wanna get a lawyer, because...yikes.

In a related note, if I were to name this sexual tactic, I think I'd call it "The Pearl Harbor"...in case you were wondering.

RE: Need Help Immediately

Posted By: Onic Man on 10-31-2006 4:49 pm

So... did you get to finish... or...?

RE: Need Help Immediately

Posted By: Kids on 10-31-2006 4:53 pm

shh-shh....its just me casper. Its just me...its casper.

RE: Need Help Immediately

Posted By: poor kid on 10-31-2006 4:55 pm

OK, to be completely serious - don't do anything but kiss this girl for a good while - if she is still talking to you. chances are though you might just want to throw in the towel slowly (don't bail too quickly, she might press charges)

RE: Need Help Immediately

Posted By: suggestion on 10-31-2006 6:32 pm

This guy should go get a place in Mt. Pleasant with Tubberville and hang out at Wonderland for the rest of their lives.

what names are so trashy you would consider not dating a person?

Posted By: trashy names on 11-10-2006 11:41 am

discuss...

RE: what names are so trashy you would consider not dating a person?

Posted By: trashy on 11-10-2006 11:42 am

Crystal or Krystal

RE: what names are so trashy you would consider not dating a person?

Posted By: how about on 11-10-2006 11:42 am

Waneta or Shenequa

RE: what names are so trashy you would consider not dating a person?

Posted By: elitist on 11-10-2006 11:43 am

Paulene or Darlene...btw I've been waiting for this topic for months

RE: what names are so trashy you would consider not dating a person?

Posted By: Gross on 11-10-2006 11:44 am

Lauren

RE: what names are so trashy you would consider not dating a person?

Posted By: elitist on 11-10-2006 11:45 am

Rose or Roseanne

RE: what names are so trashy you would consider not dating a person?

Posted By: memories on 11-10-2006 11:49 am

I dated someone named Lorenzo. I don't think it is racist to say it was the first white person I have met named Lorenzo.

RE: what names are so trashy you would consider not dating a person?

Posted By: Also on 11-10-2006 11:53 am

Any chick with a shitty slav name.

RE: what names are so trashy you would consider not dating a person?

Posted By: like what on 11-10-2006 11:54 am

Slav?

RE: what names are so trashy you would consider not dating a person?

Posted By: Top names on 11-10-2006 11:59 am

Whats the ideal name you would want your gf to have

RE: what names are so trashy you would consider not dating a person?

Posted By: Great Name on 11-10-2006 12:01 pm

Brooke. When I hear that name, it makes me think of a naked woman in high heels.

RE: what names are so trashy you would consider not dating a person?

Posted By: meow on 11-13-2006 12:59 pm

Anyone named Katherine who goes by Kitty usually has some whorish tendencies.

RE: what names are so trashy you would consider not dating a person?

Posted By: Tiffany on 11-13-2006 2:13 pm

So true, Kitty is usually a name for a whore.

Phi Kappa Sigma at UVa

Posted By: tbtn on 11-07-2006 1:41 am

What was their reputation at UVa? Last I heard they were holding a march the same night as "Take Back the Night" chanting "Thursday night party, No means yes!" Is that the reason they got kicked off grounds?

RE: Phi Kappa Sigma at UVa

Posted By: Memories on 11-07-2006 1:52 am

Very few of them tipped the scales above 160 pounds, they liked to sit around, smoke pot/shoot heroin and play video games. Mostly good guys, but occasionally at frat parties they would get carried away after doing too many key bumps and get obnoxious. In those situations you could slap them around for a while and they would tone it down, although this would generally result in a phone call from their president to formally complain about their brothers getting roughed up. They were kicked out in either 2004 or 2005, pretty sure they were done by the time I graduated. And I have no recollection of this "no means yes" chant, but I doubt it was specifically Phi Kapp. They were no more obnoxious than any other house.

RE: Phi Kappa Sigma at UVa

Posted By: uva grad on 11-07-2006 2:23 am

get a clue Memories. shooting heroin was not a common hobby at the phi kap house. easily one of the top 4 fraternities at uva until their nationals went dry. from there, things went completely down hill and they eventually lost their charter. all really great guys, and their weekly thursday nights parties were the highlight of the weekend

RE: Phi Kappa Sigma at UVa

Posted By: Fem on 11-07-2006 11:22 am

Was that comment about the "March" an insult? If they did that, that would have been amazing. I remember a certian house blasting porn out of the window during a march like that. Classic! Damn those fem donkeys.

RE: Phi Kappa Sigma at UVa

Posted By: tj on 11-07-2006 2:02 pm

The only acceptable uva girls to date were tri delts, kappas and thetas. That was the downfall of dke. Half their house was dating pi phis.

RE: Phi Kappa Sigma at UVa

Posted By: kd on 11-09-2006 11:38 am

KD is really on the rise. When I went back down there 2 weeks ago I had a pretty cute KD thinking I was a 2nd year laxer. I took her down in the 3rd story pika loft, sans raincoat. Operation!

RE: where my dems at?

Posted By: Nope on 11-08-2006 8:57 pm

You are all alone there, bushbasher. Some of us like phrases like "It was a thumpin" and "I would like to introduce the new Secretary of the Defense." Now get in your RAV4 with your "When Clinton Lied No One Died" sticker and head on up the turnpike to Hoboken. We have our resumes to send out.

RE: where my dems at?

Posted By: ew on 11-09-2006 12:34 am

democrats are ugly

RE: where my dems at?

Posted By: Lee Atwater on 11-09-2006 2:26 am

I am turning over in my grave...

RE: where my dems at?

Posted By: Ugly on 11-09-2006 10:34 am

absolutely, i don't know one attractive dem.

Who is Kerry Ann Collins?

Posted By: banker on 11-13-2006 4:46 pm

http://wonkette.com/politics/kelly-ann-collins/post-live-chat-with-socialite-gets-hilariously-personal-214404.php

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