Donate

Late Night Indiana Results Drive Everyone Crazy, But Hillary Squeaks By

YIKES OBAMA JUST GOT 28,000 INDIANA VOTES. The mysterious "Lake County" just released 20% of its votes ... and now the state total is Obama 49% v. Hillary 51%. We will keep updating this. Okay, the gap is now NINETEEN THOUSAND VOTES. All the remaining votes -- most of them, at least, according to our Numbers King John CNN King -- are in Gary.


Do you know about Gary? Do you know black Gary is? Barack got 75% of that first batch, that's how black. ALL the Jackson brothers and sisters are from Gary, plus Morgan Freeman, that's how black.

11:54 PM -- Too tired/drunk for a fancy "live blog," so we'll just do what we're doing. Your co-editors are in the "special chat room" with your editor. So we will paste some stuff in, from them.

11:55 PM -- If they can actually type.

11:57 PM -- Anderson Cooper to John King, just now: "You're like the Rain Man of politics."

12:00 MIDNIGHT -- Oh they dug up Larry King, got his muppeteer, and here we go.

12:01 -- It's special that "count all the votes" is going to become the 2008 primary call of idiocy, too.

JIM NEWELL -- "who'd you rather fuck: Chuck Todd, or Jesus?"

12:10 AM -- For Obama it has gone from 1776 to 1816. What important numerology thing happened in 1816?

Jim N.

tim russert was just like, "we know who gon be the democratic nominee, there's no disputing it." so authoritative!

Sara S.

"she has some real soul-searching to do." Like she has a SOUL.

Sara S.

God, they are loving this.

12:32 AM -- Still 19,000 votes between Barack and Hillary, in Indiana, with 92% reporting, and 1.15 million votes counted.

12:33 AM -- John King is now playing World of Warcraft on that creepy Indiana map

12:35 AM -- Now it's down to 16,000 votes between them?

12:36 AM -- So Barack can still win, but good god it would be close. Hillary may hang onto this thing, her "tiebreaker," which ends her campaign.

12:44 AM -- Ha, so Larry King really is John King's great grandfather.

12:45 AM -- And we wait.

12:54 AM -- Now Anderson Cooper is crank-calling the mayor of Gary, Indiana, or something.

12:54 AM -- They are counting absentee votes, because you want to do that as late as possible, long after the polls close, and then "brought the equipment to the airport."

12:55 AM -- Early voting apparently overwhelmed this county.

12:55 AM -- Not just early voting, but ELEVEN THOUSAND VOTES. What are they counting them with, Michael Jackson's homeless zoo animals?

12:59 AM -- John King: "I'm going to try one more time, Mr. Mayor." (Mayor McCheese keeps repeating the number 11,000, like it is a crazy unheard of number, and then he says "disenfranchised" a lot.)

1:03 AM -- Still a 16,000 vote gap.

1:04 AM -- Wolf Blitzer is still confused as to why the mush-mouth mayor can't explain why his county won't count votes. Wolf is getting PISSED because it is like 5 a.m. in Washington.

1:05 AM -- "Something corrupt may be happening." -- Mayor Tom McDermott, Hammond, Indiana.

1:07 AM -- Mayor Clay: "There is no hanky panky going on here in Lake County."

1:07 AM -- Clay is an Obama supporter, McDermott is a Hillary supporter.

1:07 AM -- Ha, there is something weird going on.

1:08 AM -- Where is Katherine Harris?

1:08 AM -- Suddenly we're at 98% of Lake County, and Barack is now 55-45.

1:09 AM -- Clinton is still winning with 18,000 votes?

1:10 AM -- Hillary is going to take Indiana?

1:11 AM -- The hilarious mayor of Gary, Indiana, is STILL on the phone.

1:13 AM -- So Hillary gets 37 delegates in Indiana, and Obama gets 35.

$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc