lawsplainer

25th Who What Now? How Would That Work?

A lawsplainer for our interesting times.

On January 6, there was a violent stupidcoup at the United States Capitol. Thousands of brainwashed morons stormed the Capitol building and trashed it, in an attempt to stage a coup for their Dear Leader.

Yesterday's constant doomscrolling was truly surreal, even for those of us who have been waiting for something like this to happen since November 8, 2016.

The president has been deemed too unhinged to post on social media, and yet he is still in charge of the US military, the Department of Justice, and our nuclear arsenal. Almost 150 lawmakers for the federal government officially endorsed sedition, even after the terrorist attack on the people's house.

So what the hell can we actually do about these unhinged sociopaths??? Let's take a look.

Invoke the 25th

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lawsplainer

Meanwhile, In Ohio, It's Mandatory Jazz Funerals For Your Abortion

Everything's great, why you asking?

Meanwhile, in Ohio, funerals will now be required for abortions.

Our entire country is on fire. We are in the midst of an attempted coup (albeit a really fucking stupid one). Four thousand Americans died yesterday from COVID-19. The president is a raving lunatic who is trying to stage a coup from Twitter. Our country is in chaos. And the absolute geniuses in the Ohio statehouse decided their time would be best spent legally mandating funerals for abortions.

Last week, Ohio Governor Mike DeWine signed Senate Bill 27, to "impose requirements on the final disposition of fetal remains from surgical abortions." Those requirements? Byproducts from surgical abortions have to be buried or cremated and then disposed of in one of the manners set forth in the bill.

At least they limited the abortion funerals to surgical abortions, I guess? Though I'm just waiting for women to have to try to catch their menstrual blood when having a medical abortion. Or miscarriage. Or period. (Nothing like that for men and sperm, of course. That would be ridiculous.)

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Nice Time

Laura Loomer Laughed Out Of Court Again, This Time For Suing The Muslims

Some things stay the same.

Laura Loomer is a professional bigot who thinks she is much more important than she is.

Her main claims to fame are handcuffing herself to Twitter's door and saying really terrible things about Muslims and immigrants. Oh, and she recently had an unsuccessful run for Congress.

Laura, the ultimate Florida Woman, likes to brag about being the "most banned woman" on the internet. And, indeed, she has been banned from platforms as diverse as GoFundMe, Uber and Lyft, Medium, Venmo, PayPal, Facebook, Instagram, and Medium for her horrific bigotry.

But, of course, sociopathic narcissists like Loomer can never accept that the consequences of their actions are their own doing. And in her sad, twisted little brain, not only was her ban from Twitter NOT FAIR — it was actually the work of Muslims, conspiring with Twitter to deplatform her. So she sued Twitter, the non-profit Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR), and CAIR's Florida affiliate.

Yesterday, the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals dismissed Illoominate Media v. CAIR Florida, ruling against Loomer on every argument she made on appeal. (And yes, just typing "iloominate" made me throw up a little in my mouth.)

The Southern District of Florida judge who dismissed the case called Loomer's claims "nonsensical" — and the 11th Circuit panel agreed. (Though I, for one, am SHOCKED that a complaint alleging CAIR and Twitter were working with Hamas and the Kingdom of Qatar to boot a wannabe Nazi influencer off of social media would not pass legal muster.)
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Post-Racial America

Trump Tried To Ban Teaching About Racism. Judge Says Eat Sh*t.

The First Amendment, motherfucker, can you dig it?

With all of the absolutely batshit insane nonsense going on right now, it can be easy to lose sight of all of the other messes Trump created. Between stupid coup attempts, a Christmas Day suicide bomber in downtown Nashville, and the president's Twitter account, there's just a lot of shit to keep track of. So you may have almost missed this nice little present we got last week.

Just in time for Christmas, Northern District of California Judge Beth Labson Freeman gave us a shiny, beautiful gift — a nationwide injunction stopping Donald Trump's diversity training ban.

In The Diversity Center of Santa Cruz v. Trump, Judge Labson Freeman found that the organizations challenging Trump's bigoted fuckery had shown that they were likely to win their First and Fifth Amendment claims and were entitled to a preliminary injunction blocking the insane, racist policy.

Suck it, Nazis.

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