Learn How Debbie Became Timeshare-Free! Tabs, Fri., May 8, 2020

Tabs gifs by your friend Martini Ambassador!

What are they fucking doing.

Fuck you Pete Hegseth. Fuck you Fox. Oh my god I might never stop crying. When COVID-19 Arrived in Rural America. (AP)

The Stranger predicts the future. (The Stranger)

Republicans want us to embrace mass death. It's the damnedest thing I've ever seen, and I've lived through three years of President Trump. — Paul Waldman at the Washington Post

Ima have a goddamn aneurysm, LOOK AT THIS MASKLESS PIGFUCK.

RELEVANT: This poor dead shitlizard :( — Smithsonian

"Senate Republicans are settling on their pandemic message as they fight to save their majority: President Donald Trump did a tremendous job." Don't mind me, I'm just over here taking CRAZY PILLS! (Politico)

Smoke 'em if you got 'em. Maybe. — The Economist

What to look for in the fourth stimulus bill doesn't seem to be ANYTHING FOR WORKERS, COME ON CHUCK AND NANCY WHERE YOU AT. (Yahoo!)

Kenji Lopez-Alt's roast potatoes seem like a lot of work for roast potatoes, but that is probably why my roast potatoes are not very good roast potatoes.

POINT OF PERSONAL PRIVILEGE! As you know, I write up whatever tabs I have open the night before, so right now it is Thursday, not 4 a.m. Mountain time on Friday. And yestertoday was just ... it was just a very bad day! Nothing personally bad hardly, just the world and the idiots, and the YARGH they ARE trying to kill us, and not ironically! So it's a fairly short tabs, because I don't wanna.

Anyway, we are now trading taking Fridays off, me and the kids, and today is me, and I need it like you wouldn't believe, and I am taking the whole weekend off to play with my daughter except for like a tiny short amount of time to prep this year's mamacita communista for you, and oh I wish you all a good, free, easy Mother's Day, hopefully with famblies you like, and I like YOU.

Good luck to us all my darling ones, and see you bright and early after the weekend.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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