Mean Bill Barr! President Bloodlust wants a race war, and Uncle Bill says "no." UNFAIR!

Ensconced in his Fox News bubble, Trump is apparently under the impression that sending the goon squad into Portland is going well, as opposed to galvanizing opposition to his administration and making local police departments look slightly less awful in comparison. It's an easy mistake to make when you spend literally half your waking hours bragging about a test for dementia which you "aced" two years ago.

The Daily Beast reports that there's been a battle playing out behind the scenes at the White House. On one side is the president, who wants to turn the streets of every Democratic city into a war zone. On the other said are his advisors, who may be stupid, but they're not crazy.

According to three people familiar with the president's private remarks, Trump previously envisioned an ostentatious, camera-ready show of force. He wanted to go after what he saw as violent gang leaders, flush them out of hiding in ways that would have them "shaking in their boots" like they never had before, and have alleged perpetrators marched out in front of the news cameras.

While Bill Barr waddles out to the podium promising to "surge" federal agents into American cities and show those cop-hating Democrats what's what, behind the scenes he's trying to talk Trump down from his wankfantasies of using federal troops to invade America. Which probably means that Portland-style occupations of Chicago, Detroit, and Baltimore are not in the cards. So thanks for that, Bill Barr, we guess.