Legal

Seattle Judge Lets Cops Rifle Through Reporters' Footage, Because Them And What Army?

How many divisions has the Seattle Times?

And for today's news on our police state, we go to Seattle, Washington.

Yesterday, King County Superior Court Judge Nelson Lee ordered five different news organizations to turn over to law enforcement photos and video taken during a George Floyd protest in May. Because federal troops storming our cities and disappearing people just isn't enough!

On May 30, five days after Derek Chauvin killed George Floyd, Seattleites took to the streets to protest. The vast majority of the protesters were peaceful; however, a small group of people broke off from the main protest and allegedly vandalized police cars and took tactical helmets and two guns.

Journalists from the Seattle Times and local TV stations KIRO, KOMO, KING, and KCPQ were all there to report on the protests. The Seattle Police Department filed a subpoena for video and photographs taken that night. And over the strong objection of the media organizations, a judge ordered the reporters to hand their materials over to the cops.

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Legal

DHS Admits One Or Twelve Tiny Oopsies, We Mean 'Lying To Judge.' Is That Okay?

Sorry about all that lying, Your Honor. Shit happens, you know?

(Acting) Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security Chad Wolf has out-douched himself yet again. On a day when his office was forced to send a humiliating letter to Judge Jesse M. Furman admitting that they've been lying for months about their basis for excluding New York residents from the Trusted Traveler Program, Wolf is nonetheless trumpeting his big win and excoriating the state for jeopardizing national security.

"The Green Light Law ultimately undermines the efforts of law enforcement officers, criminalizing their mission to secure the nation and the American people from threats and furthering the risk to their own lives," he says, miraculously immune from lightning strike by a just deity who has had it up to here with Chad and his shit. "When jurisdictions like New York fail to cooperate with federal authorities, they operate more like refuges from criminal behavior, not sanctuary havens."

He really is a right royal dickbag.

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WARBLOGGING

Trump's Dreams Of Invading Chicago Dashed By Bill Barr, Federal Law, Reality

But he can have some 'surge,' as a treat.

Mean Bill Barr! President Bloodlust wants a race war, and Uncle Bill says "no." UNFAIR!

Ensconced in his Fox News bubble, Trump is apparently under the impression that sending the goon squad into Portland is going well, as opposed to galvanizing opposition to his administration and making local police departments look slightly less awful in comparison. It's an easy mistake to make when you spend literally half your waking hours bragging about a test for dementia which you "aced" two years ago.

The Daily Beast reports that there's been a battle playing out behind the scenes at the White House. On one side is the president, who wants to turn the streets of every Democratic city into a war zone. On the other said are his advisors, who may be stupid, but they're not crazy.

According to three people familiar with the president's private remarks, Trump previously envisioned an ostentatious, camera-ready show of force. He wanted to go after what he saw as violent gang leaders, flush them out of hiding in ways that would have them "shaking in their boots" like they never had before, and have alleged perpetrators marched out in front of the news cameras.

While Bill Barr waddles out to the podium promising to "surge" federal agents into American cities and show those cop-hating Democrats what's what, behind the scenes he's trying to talk Trump down from his wankfantasies of using federal troops to invade America. Which probably means that Portland-style occupations of Chicago, Detroit, and Baltimore are not in the cards. So thanks for that, Bill Barr, we guess.

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Crime

Bill Barr Is Literally Fake News

Dangerous incompetence? Or incompetent dangerousness? Hmmmmm.

Does Bill Barr need to take the Person Woman Man Camera TV test? Has our mendacious attorney general lost his marbles, or is he just lying again? Spoiler alert: It is both! Barr's circuits are fried from 25 years of Fox, and also he's full of shit.

Three and a half years into Donald Trump's presidency, Commander Couch Potato has suddenly decided that crime in America's cities is an emergency requiring drastic federal response. As opposed to a global pandemic, which the states need to deal with on their own, because the federal government isn't a shipping clerk.

DOJ agents will surge into "Democrat run" cities and somehow solve crimes in communities they know nothing about. Local police haven't been able to reduce crime in cities they know like the back of their hands, but Bill Barr has that big government magic serum that will put things right in a jiffy.

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