Shit, guys, I'm pretty sure our secretary of defense hates women. Leon Panetta has lifted the ban on women serving in military combat roles. He hates them so much he wants them to be equal!

This is a travesty. We have abandoned all of our values — at the very least the ones where women are to be patronizingly excluded from demeaning or dangerous jobs, because they are flowers who should be treated with respect, except in beer commercials.

We cannot explain it nearly as well as former McCain staffer/Political Genius Michael Goldfarb, so we will let his super tweets do it for us:

So now we're going to ask our officers to send women to their deaths? Is that honorable?

— Michael Goldfarb (@thegoldfarb) January 23, 2013