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Doesn't he look like someone is playing him on SNL?


Rick Perry has been chosen by President-elect Donald Trump to head the Department of Energy! This is hilarious because Rick Perry is not only quite dumb, but you know that famous "oops" moment (which, honestly, could have happened to anyone)? Yeah, that was when he was talking about the three departments he would ax murder to death if he were our dumb sexy daddy president, and "Energy" was the one he couldn't even remember!

Also, you know who Nobummer's secretary of Energy is? An actual nuclear scientist. And the one before that? A professor of physics and molecule stuff. Rick Perry, who apparently has a bachelor's in animal science, which we are going to assume is animal husbandry -- PIGFUCKING! -- is going to be in charge of our nation's nukes.

OH HO HOHOHLOLOLOL.

Jesus Christ.

Let's do the only thing we can do this stupid day, and steal some gifs from the Internet!

Hmmm, not that sexy!

Oh, here is Rick Perry grabbing a lady's boob like he is Donald Trump and that lady is Ivanka and her boob is a butt.

It's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane.

Here is Rick Perry driving a very dirty, gas-guzzling car, spewing only the finest crude from Secretary of State Exxon into the air!

Everything is terrible. But what's that? You would like to invest in some "community solar" panels before solar power and wind are outlawed in favor of whatever coal Donald Trump can pull out of Don Blankenship's ass?

Yes, let's. (As always, your Wonkette gets a small cut. TO INVEST IN COMMUNITY SOLAR PANELS OF HER OWN!)

Now dance, rummy! Dance! Or just go back to bed, it's cool.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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