Hey there, fella. What's your poison? Oh, actual poison? US TOO! We have been having sadz all over the place because Hillz is being mean to Bernard, and Bernard is no longer running around with all the creatures of the forest, and what even the fuck Y'ALL ARE BETTER THAN THIS! KISS AND MAKE UP!

Now, pour yourself a stiff one and gather all your Internet friends, and meet us back here at 9 p.m. Eastern so we can all watch the CNN countdown clock reset itself for like 45 minutes.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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