Let's Get Waco Biker Gangs To Shoot Up The Muslims, How About That?
It takes a special kind of mind to look at the madness of Sunday's Great Big Waco Biker Massacre and see an opportunity for directing all that hatred elsewhere, which is why we admire the ingenuity of this brilliant idea from Sandy Rios, radio gabber for the American Patriarchy Association. Instead of just letting America's outlaw biker gangs' energy go to waste with internecine fighting, why not use the Magic Of Jesus to turn those bad boys to the right side of the law, and then let them direct their aggression toward some people who really need to be shot and stabbed and stuff, like drug dealers and jihadis?
After all, Rios explained on her radio show Monday, it would save wear and tear on the police if we just took the simple expedient of drafting a bunch of violent thugs and turning them loose on a different bunch of bad guys:
“Police have their hands full fighting our real enemies, the cartels, the Islamists, and now they’re fighting motorcycle gangs?” Rios asked. “I find myself thinking, let’s have a little retraining for motorcycle gangs and put them on our side fighting our enemies. That’s what we really need.”
We're guessing that Sandy Rios studied criminology by watching The Dirty Dozen, maybe. Of course, given that the Bandidos, one of the motorcycle gangs involved in the Waco shootout are already heavily into drug trafficking, we suppose that they'd have a real incentive to go after "the cartels," if only to improve their own business prospects. Indeed, a sketchily-sourced Dead Breitbart story claims that the Bandidos are already in a partnership with the Mexican Zetas cartel; we wouldn't panic too much, however, considering that the same loonies also thought a checkered shirt found along the border was a "Muslim prayer rug" and that ISIS was on the verge of crossing the border into El Paso.
We're looking forward to hearing more of Ms. Rios's ideas for making America a better place. Maybe she'll come up with a plan to weaponize Bill O'Reilly and drop him behind ISIS lines for a one-way mission to take out Hitler. Or maybe to fire up a Sharknado and aim it at al Qaeda.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.