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Don't stop thinkin' about the '90s


[Added Thursday, Aug. 18: Many readers have had extremely unhappy reactions to this post. Some parts, as it was written hastily, were more sloppy than not. I would like to try to clarify that muddiness, in addition to apologizing to Juanita Broaddrick specifically, here.]

Buzzfeed has a long, interesting interview with Juanita Broaddrick, the woman who says Bill Clinton raped her in an Arkansas hotel room almost 40 years ago. Maybe this case has always bugged you too, because we are supposed to believe women when it comes to rape. (For the record, I don't "always" believe women. I think some women are messed up, and some women lie.)

Why did Juanita Broaddrick change her story? ask people who otherwise would automatically answer "rape survivors do that sometimes." (When Paula Jones's lawyers came knocking, she told them that nothing had happened, she says, because she wanted it to go away.)

Why is Juanita Broaddrick so cozy with all the rightwingers? they ask. (Because she hates Hillary Clinton, because she believes that she tried to silence her.)

And ... that's pretty much all the "I don't believe Juanita" crowd has. Her friends found her with bruised lips, crying, right after the rape allegedly occurred. That's what we call "contemporaneous evidence" when we believe women.

Here are a few quick thinkerings, which you may or may not disagree with, quite loudly!

  • I can absolutely see Bill Clinton doing this (then, not now) and not even thinking of it as rape, but thinking of it as dominant, alpha sex. I can see a LOT of men doing that during that time period, before we started telling them in the '80s, "hey, that is rape, do not do that." I can see YOUR NICE GRANDPA doing that, back then.
  • In the Buzzfeed piece, Broaddrick's precocious 13-year-old grandson -- who sounds like a really sweet young man -- has learned this year about his grandmother's "complicated" past, thanks to overheard conversations and gaps filled in by Google. He says to force sex on a woman means you are an "evil" person. I don't think this is true. I think you can do something horrible, realize later that it is horrible, be ashamed forever and try to keep it secret and never do it again. (Especially if you're, say, a teenager whose impulse control is still years away from being properly developed.)
  • "Rape is about power, not sex." For those for whom it's about power, those are the serial rapist guys, and they hate women and want to punish us. But I don't think that's in every case. I think good men can rape, and be sorry, and not do it again. This is very bad feminism.
  • While I (sort of? am leaning toward?) believe Juanita Broaddrick, her characterization of Hillary Clinton sounds irrational, maybe induced from PTSD:

    Soon after, Broaddrick says, she ran into Hillary Clinton at a political rally Broaddrick had promised friends she would attend. Hillary shook her hand and thanked her for everything she had done for Bill. To Broaddrick, the gesture felt like a threat to stay silent. As attorney general and later governor, Bill Clinton was “the main person that regulated my business and my income,” Broaddrick said. “After she said what she did to me, I just thought, I will keep quiet.”

    There is simply no reason Hillary Clinton would have known jackshit about it; Bill Clinton was always lying to her, and she loved him, and she kept believing him when it was long past silly to do so. "Honey, I raped that nice lady" isn't a thing he would have opened up to her about, and "thanks so much for the campaigning you did for my husband" just doesn't sound like a threat in any possible universe.

  • Just because Broaddrick seems irrational about Hillary Clinton's response doesn't make her irrational about the rest.
  • To sum up, I think Bill Clinton could very well have raped Juanita Broaddrick; that it doesn't make him an evil man, or irredeemable (I'm Catholic; we're all forgiven, if we're sorry, and Broaddrick says Bill Clinton personally called her up to apologize). It doesn't even necessarily make him a bad feminist -- you know, later, once he stops doing that.
  • I don't necessarily believe the woman who says Donald Trump raped her when she was a 13-year-old girl. (I'm pretty sure he did rape his wife though, seeing as how she said so under oath.) It doesn't seem in character -- to me -- that he would threaten to have her disappeared. It seems a lot more Trumpy that he'd send her off with a "good girl" and a smack on the ass, assuming she'd be grateful to have hosted Trump's magnificent schlong.

How's that for fair and balanced?

[Please see here for my later thoughts.]

[Buzzfeed]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Republicans are devouring each other's carcasses, and we are here for it! Especially when one of those Republicans is King Kris of the Kansas Votefucker Klan ... errr, Clan! It's been a week since Kansans cast their votes in the gubernatorial primary, and the GOP looks to be rolling up its sleeves for a slugfest.

As we type, Kobach leads by 298 votes out of more than 314,000 cast -- a whopping 0.00095 percent, if you round up! The Kansas GOP begged Donald Trump to stay out of the race and leave the field clear for sitting governor Jeff Colyer, who took over when Sam Brownback wandered off to bring Jesus to the Hottentots on behalf of the US government. Safe bet that Colyer would be gearing up for the general election now if President Twitterthumbs hadn't flapped his yap. So thanks for that, Donny!

No, really, THANKS!

Remember the hanging chad debacle in Florida? Now picture it in a landlocked state with more cows than people. It's like fantasy island for Devin Nunes, ALLEGEDLY.

Oh, but we are to kid!

After first insisting he wasn't going to recuse from the counting, Secretary of State Kris Kobach (one and the same!) wrote Colyer a fabulously bitchy letter agreeing to hand off the tabulation to his deputy, Eric Rucker. Colyer had made the shocking suggestion that Kobach delegate responsibility to the Kansas attorney general, rather than his own political appointee, and Kobach was stretched out on the settee with a fit of the vapors at the gross impropriety of it all!

I will not breach the public trust and arbitrarily assign my responsibilities to another office that is not granted such authority by the laws of Kansas.

After several anguished paragraphs, Kobach closed by remonstrating that Colyer was betraying his office by destroying the faith of Kansans in the sacred integrity of their electoral process.

As governor of Kansas, your unrestrained rhetoric has the potential to undermine the public's confidence in the election process. May I suggest that you trust the people of Kansas have made the right decision at the polls and that our election officials will properly determine the result as they do in every election.

Said the guy whose entire adult life has been dedicated to whipping up panic about millions of imaginary illegal alien voters.

So now these two princes can kick the crap out of each other WITH VOTES, specifically, provisional ballots cast by unaffiliated voters under the supervision of poorly trained poll workers. Kansas holds closed primaries, meaning only registered Republicans can vote to select the GOP candidate, BUT an unaffiliated voter can cast a vote by checking a box identifying as a Democrat or a Republican at the polling place. This was news to some poll workers, who mistakenly directed over one thousand unaffiliated voters to use provisional ballots without checking the box indicating party preference. Whoops!

So, will those provisional ballots be counted based on voter intent? Or tossed based on strict interpretation of the statute? And does Kansas law mandate tossing mail-in ballots that arrive without a postmark on Wednesday, since there's no forensic proof that they were mailed before midnight on Tuesday? And how disgusted will the Kansas electorate be when one of these assholes emerges from the melée holding the other one's scalp? And how many millions of dollars are going to be spent on litigating the Republican primary while this nice lady Laura Kelly, the Democratic minority whip of the Kansas Senate, is out campaigning for November?

Even before this debacle, Kobach looked significantly weaker against Kelly than Colyer, with self-funded Libertarian Jeff Orman threatening to throw a wrench in the works. The Wichita Eagle reports on a Remington Research Poll conducted in July:

In a Kelly-Orman-Kobach race, the poll puts Kelly and Kobach effectively in a dead heat — 36 percent for Kelly and 35 percent for Kobach, with Kelly's lead within the margin of error. Orman has 12 percent.

Colyer leads in a three-way race with Kelly and Orman, according to the poll. In that scenario, Colyer receives 38 percent of the vote, while Kelly gets 28 percent and Orman receives 10 percent.

Which is ONE POLL, in a deeply red state, but ... Kobach is a crap candidate who's likely to emerge from this fight with two black eyes and a pissed off base. If there's anyone who can blow this election, it's Kris Kobach.

Keep fighting, Kris! You can do it! (And now we need a shower.)

And YOU need an OPEN THREAD!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Money us, PLEASE! Throw a tip in the jar, or click here to keep your Wonkette snarking forever.

[Kobach letter / Wichita Eagle / Mother Jones / Kansas City Star]

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While most people spent this weekend telling Nazi punks to fuck off, a couple 11-year-olds were in Las Vegas hacking into voting machines. Why? BECAUSE IT'S FUN!

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