Lick for the Stick?
Now this is just wrong:
Attractive young ladies of DC -- I KNOW you love Butterstick and his cuteness and you are DYING to go see him. Yes, the tickets are difficult to come by, but I have TWO tickets.Poor Butterstick. You can see how sad he is to be used this way. Restore honor and dignity to the panda house!
While I would LOVE to see Butterstick and his amazingly adorable face, I would ALSO love a discrete blow job from a cute young lady. So, let me know if you would like the tickets. It'll only take 5 minutes or so of your time.
E-mail me for details. This is serious.
PSA: No matter what your lust for panda porn, hold off before accepting this guy's dubious offer. If desperate, please consider waiting outside the zoo and offering blow jobs to those who can show you their tickets. We've got six.