Life Imitates Michelle Shocked Song Imitating Life: Miami Cops Kill 17-Year-Old Graffiti Artist, Because Why Not


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Hey remember back when Michelle Shocked was not making us all sad every day while we watched what looked an awful lot like decompensation? Well, back when she was a punk rock skateboard folk singer, she had a song called "Graffiti Limbo." Part of it went like this!

Now, I wrote this song for Michael Stewart. Michael Stewart was a young black graffiti artist who was arrested while writing graffiti on a subway wall in New York City. While under arrest, in the presence of eleven white transit cops, Michael Stewart was strangled to death. When his case was heard by the Grand Jury, you know, not one cop was found guilty. The coroner had lost the evidence and those cops are on the streets again.

This story though is totally different, because the 17-year-old who is dead now was in Miami, and also he died of Tasers instead of strangling, and also also he was an illegal immigrant and also cubed he was high on the pot, so by the First Law Of Nugent, it is pretty much what he had coming.

One witness told WFOR that police were “congratulating” each other and “making fun” of Hernandez-Llach after he was shocked by the Taser. But those remarks do not appear in the official police report. The report also does not mention the Tasing.

That seems like a weird thing for the police report to leave out, but we will just assume that Hernandez-Llach probably used his superhuman marijuana strength to throw a car at the police, and then he thought he could fly because marijuana and jumped off a building and landed on the taser.

Seems legit.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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