Liquor Delivery to Snatch DC From Jaws of Depression

Liquor Delivery to Snatch DC From Jaws of Depression

In this brave new era of impotent smokeballs and puke fountains, it's never been more appealing to retreat into your basement, with fertile plants and sawed-off weapons, never to emerge until bond prices fall or something. But what to do when the liquor runs out?DC Snacks, a company created in god's own image, is here to help.

DC Snacks has built a business out of dispatching bikers to deliver condoms and cheese puffs to the desperate and hungry. Sensing a market opportunity in getting people wasted more effortlessly than ever, it has recently expanded its operations to providing liquor and wine, to you, at your door. Sweet Jesus! So liquor delivery is kinda next to the wheel in terms of "obvious inventions," but this is the only such delivery service in DC from which you can order on the internet. This reduces the number of humans with which you must interact to obtain your whiskey fix to exactly one.

As with all good things, there are some caveats: though you can place your order at any time, the alcohol will only be delivered between 7PM and 8PM. And, sorry to disappoint the more geographically disperse among us, but they only deliver to certain neighborhoods in Northwest. However, they are hoping to expanding the delivery hours in the coming weeks. Their non-alcohol inventory is still blessedly available through 2AM or 3AM.

[DC Snacks]


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