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Okay, he doesn't ACTUALLY look happy about it.


Marco Rubio then:

That was back in the day, when Rubio was just saying Trump has a small penis, if you get what he is saying.

Marco Rubio now:

"I want to be helpful. I don't want to be harmful, because I don't want Hillary Clinton to be president."

So ... Trump! And YAY, Little Marco says he's going to the Republican convention, to be there for Donald Trump, his new real dad.

Marco Rubio then:

During Thursday’s debate, Rubio said that Trump needed extra makeup to cover up sweat and said Trump wanted a full-length mirror backstage “to make sure his pants weren’t wet.”

Marco Rubio now:

"Look, my policy differences with Donald Trump -- I spent 11 months talking about them. So I think they're well understood. ... That said ... I don't want Hillary Clinton to be president."

So he's endorsing Trump then? Somebody sure went from #NeverTrump to #OhMyGodTrumpI'mCumming real fast!

Marco Rubio when he was a little boy:

"[Donald Trump] should be worrying about the lines around his eyes from the horrible spray tan."

Marco Rubio now that he is a big boy:

"If there's something I can do to help [keep Hillary from getting elected] from happening, and it's helpful to the cause, I'd most certainly be honored to be considered for that."

Hooray, Trump! Guess the old expression is true, about how it's not the size of the hands that matter, but how gently they caress Little Marco.

Marco Rubio once upon a time:

"It is my desire at this time that the delegates allocated to me by your rules remain bound to vote for me on at least the first nominating ballot at the national convention."

Marco Rubio happily ever after:

[Rubio] said he'll release the 167 delegates he won during the primary, with victories in Minnesota and Puerto Rico and the District of Columbia.

And even better, Little Marco says that if Donald Trump asks him really nicely, or if Trump puts his foot on Rubio's neck and demands it, he will totally speak at the convention, in support of Trump!

Marco Rubio once was lost ...

And he wore these pants with his gay-ass shoes:

No for real these were on his website.

But now he's found, was blind and now he sees, amaaaazing Trump, how sweet the sound, yes, Lord! And now he's like this:

Oh Marco, stop playing hard to get!

 

The end.

[CNN via Slate]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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