Live Blogging the Daily News Briefing
There's some reason we're paying attention to the White House daily briefing today, now what was it....
12:56 President at National Defense University "to update american people" on war on terror. Yes, Soc Sec reform not going well, so... 9/11, everyone. When all goes wrong talk about 9/11 response. End tyrany: support private accounts.
12:59 Scotty doesn't want to pre empt Rice announcement-- wouldn't want to MAKE NEWS at news briefing.
1:00 Malveaux question... looking at briefing book... looking at notes.
1:02 We suggest, for those playing at home, using "strategy" as your McClellan drinking game word. For "on the march," chug.
1:04 Also good for a three-martini lunch: "seek to do us harm."
1:04 Our new strategy for bin Ladin, April, is to catch him.
1:05 Bush speech at NDU gonna be an endzone dance, totally waving ass in air to Europe. 9/11 --> middle east democracy --> personal accounts. Wait: FREEDOM accounts!
Liveblogging continues after jump.
1:05 President "will never forget 9/11." Well, yes, It is what allowed him to invade Iraq. And now invade social security.
1:06 April totally wrong, not "new strategy" on bin Laden. A "new way of looking at things." SO different. Still committed to original strategy of not catching him.
1:07 Pretty boy Moran now, with the renditions question. Scotty: We're anti-torture. Except when other countries do it on our behalf.
1:09 What the fuck is Moran's obsession with Uzbeckistan? Totally giving Scott and out, making it a specific case.
1:10 Omg. STILL doing it. Just ask general question! Stop giving Scott a, ahem, back door out. He'll just stick a glowstick in and tell you to be on your way....
1:11: ABC doing story on Uzbekistan tonight.
1:12 Ah, Soc Sec is a loser issue. Totally. Frist holding big L on forehead. Scott asks us to look at "the individuals who have run and won" on the issue....like 2. Clinton was one of them tho.
We interrupt this liveblogging to bring you live-IM-ing of briefing:
(1:18:07) Wonkette Operative #1: Chief actuary!
(1:18:10) Wonkette: heh
(1:18:18) Wonkette Operative #1: oh boy
(1:18:21) Wonkette Operative #1: scott lost
(1:20:13) Wonkette Operative #1: Carl from Fox
(1:20:25) Wonkette Operative #1: neutral on everything Carl
(1:20:30) Wonkette Operative #1: including plan to make squirrels
(1:20:32) Wonkette Operative #1: make money
(1:20:34) Wonkette Operative #1: to give to seniors
(1:20:54) Wonkette Operative #1: we only negotiate with ourselves home alone late at night.
(1:20:56) Wonkette: squirrels turning generators to create clean energy and will collect nuts for seniors
(1:21:32) Wonkette: this is so boring
(1:21:40) Wonkette Operative #1: yes
(1:21:41) Wonkette: liveblogging almost makes it interesting
(1:21:45) Wonkette Operative #1: almost
(1:21:50) Wonkette Operative #1: but only to make fun of it.
(1:21:52) Wonkette: too bad if you were a blogger you couldn't live blog while there
1:22 Goyle want to know what happens if young person becomes a multi-millionare through private accounts. Well, becoming multimillionaire on 4% should get you Nobel Prize.
1:23 Scott not going to correct assumption you can invest in individual stocks. Admin wishes they thought of this themselves. LOVES idea of jackpot social security.
1:24 As for Syria: we're going to bomb them or force them to get private accounts.
1:25 We need to see Syria act, says Scotty. I see them in a buddy picture, with Chris Rock, maybe...
1:26 HELEN! Bush issued new orders about checkpoints? A little, uhm, under his pay grade. Helen crazy, issue depressing... let's mock Scott more...
1:29 Is that Ali G? THAT is someone i'd like to see in the briefing. Also would like to see Elvis.
1:30 Can we get assurances that other countries won't torutre? WE CAN'T EVEN GET ASSURANCES FROM OUR OWN FUCKING COUNTRY.
1:31 Not sure why Scotty would use "things have changed" argument to defend renditions, unless those renditions are harder and meaner.
1:32 Isn't rendering also term for like, curing meat? Just asking.
1:33 Why a Bush speech now? Bush giving speech now because because soc sec issue stinking up room. 9/11 allows everyone to wave flags and play country songs.
1:37 Carl Cameron helpful in providing Scotty opportunity to repeat self.
1:38 Yay, done! I feel like we missed something though... I wonder what it could be....