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Live-Blogging the Presidential News Conference

10:02 Bush starts reading before he gets behind podium. Clearly would rather be elsewhere. Rather be being interviewed by Dan Rather.


10:03 Iraqi freedom will require "commitment of generations," i.e., "We will be drafting your grandchildren."

10:04 "There has been enormous sacrifice by some of our citizens." No one i know, of course, but my staff has informed me that is the case.

10:05 Oooo, nice tie on David Gregory.

10:05 Terrorists: no positive agenda. Kind of like democrats

10:07 "The fact that they're voting in itself is successful." That "whoosh" you hear? The sound of the bar lowering. Next: "The fact that ballots are printed."

10:09 Terry Moran knows his Jordanian penal code. Question on crushing of dissent by American ally! Does the president see a contradiction? Clearly, Terry Moran is an enemy of freedom.

10:10 Yet, president thrown. Allowing a followup.

10:12 Really liking Gregory's shirt. Pink? Peach? And checked! Very secure in his masculinity.

10:15 How many people have to die before "the world is safer without Saddam...." starts to sound hollow?

11:16 "When americans see Iraqis standing up and fighting," they're be relieved alright. Relieved because then we can leave.

10:17 Ah. The Japan comparison. Not sure that's super relevant or comforting. First, we were there seven years. Second: we dropped TWO NUCLEAR WEAPONS on them. Of course they were willing to cooperate. They were glowing.

10:18 Huh. Not mentioning private accounts in re: Soc. Sec. But whatever. It's all "dictated by math." Does that mean we have to invade math?

10:20 "Third rail of politics means you touch it and you die." Ah. see I thought it was a euphamsism for large penis.

10:22 David Sanger doing Moran one better: Is liberty first issue countries like China, Saudi Arabia, Russia should be thinking about?

10:23 Oh, well, if he's "constantly reminding" them about liberty, nevermind. America: Like your mom, but about liberty.

10:24 "Our own country is a work in progress." For instance, the gays can vote. Gotta work on that.

10:25 Peter Baker, the WP's new guy. Did he really just ask "what's changed?" Where's Tivo remote? Really? He asked that? And quoted "Foreign Policy" magazine? Way to show off own reading. And, uhm, we think we know the answer to "what's changed." Something about some planes flying into buildings....

10:25 How new is Baker? Needs guy in front of room to remind him: "I'm the president."

10:27 House Ways and Means "Dead Horse" Chairman, Thomas is "thinking creatively" -- which means we're sending him to Guantanamo.

10:31 He's gong to to "continue speaking directly to the American people." In other words, not to press.

10:32 Oops: Dow gone down 18 points during presser.

10:34 But he's turned corner... more in control. They're giggling.

10:38 Someone asking about Bush's ability to communicate with those so thoroughly "divorced from reality." Well, as one of the loony left he's talking about I should set record straight. Not divorced from reality. Just legally separated.

10:39 Dow back up. President in command!

10:40 Wow....37 minutes... What have they done with the real President Bush?!?

10:42 BRAIN FREEZE. Real Bush back.

10:44 The firmly planted the flag of liberty! Hey, is that a firmly planted flag of liberty in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

10:45 Spanish pronunciation of "coyote." Very authentic. Very "hispanics largest growing minority."

10:47 Is the president a liar? 99 out of 100 senators say no.

The end.

P.S.: Loving Fox's "fair and balanced" coverage starring Fred Barnes and Roger Stone. They're not even pretending anymore...

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How do you do, fellow libs? We come together tonight to cheer and clap and cry and laugh, with our leader, Elizabeth Warren, and her fellow nice people Jay Inslee (the gold standard in climate action), Beto O'Rourke (excellent on being a good ally mostly), Cory Booker (best corny love hippie but also Wall Street, it's weird), Julian Castro (I don't know, people are super into him despite his creepy twinness and his too much pomade), Amy Klobuchar (bad bitch), Bill de Blasio ( ... ), John Delaney (???), and Tim Ryan and Tulsi Gabbard.

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We know, the thing we said in our headline is a thing you can say every day, but it's really intense today, maybe because Donald Trump is now filled with fear of the inescapable reality that millions of Americans who have not read the Mueller Report are going to see Robert Mueller testify on live TV on July 17, and Donald Trump will be exposed. Maybe the Big Mac vending machine next to his golden toilet is on the fritz and he hasn't had gotten to eat a Big Mac on the poop chair since last night. Maybe he's just a weak and sad person, a collection of shithole cells God meant to throw in the garbage, but accidentally implanted in Mary Trump's turkey incubator. We imagine that'd lead to a pretty constant state of anxiety and ennui.

Whatever it is, he's totally fucked right now. We were going to write a nice post about Trump's batshit interview on Fox Business with Maria Bartiromo, but we were busy, and by the time we got to it, he had performed so many batshit feats that we're just going to stick them all in this one post.

Let's start with the fight he's trying to wage with US soccer star Megan Rapinoe, who in a now-viral video stated that she has no fuckin' interest in going to the White House to meet that idiot. He got into a quarrel with her on Twitter ... or at least with a Twitter account that didn't belong to her. It's now been replaced, in order that the adult president may shit-tweet at the soccer superstar who hurt his feelings, but Splinter grabbed the original:

The rant continued:

Right. And Megan Rapinoe just said win or lose, she has no interest in meeting your crusty ass, because no decent American would consider that an honor.

Besides, she has already been to the White House to meet a legitimately elected president:

By the by, the owner of the incorrect Megan Rapinoe account saw Trump's whining and told him to grow a dick and set it on fire:

Ya burnt!

But as we said, it was a whole day of batshit from Trump, so let's continue.

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