Liveblogging Bush Acceptance Speech

Shorter Dick Cheney: Urgh.


3:07PM Jenna claps funny.

3:08PM Correspondent notes: "See, it's like she's making paddies of something."

3:09PM "Historic victory." Well, yes: His first.

3:09PM "A really good phone call," he says. Continues: "I came twice."

3:10PM Jenna claps like a dolphin. (Nice rack!)

3:12PM Our thanking portion. Thanks everyone (does not tell them he wants to hug them). Thank you for volunteering. Thank you for standing at rope lines. Thank you for all those phony questions you asked at rallies. Also, reader notes: "Calling Karl Rove an architect of a campaign is kind of like calling Mengele a personal physician."

3:14PM Terrorism, democracy, whatever. So serious. Acting like he's president already! Oh, right. . .

[Break in coverage, searching desk for hemlock]

3:18PM "God bless America." What, Shrum wrote this speech, too?

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