Liveblogging George W. Bush Crying About the Greatest Depression


No cry, Walnutz!What's it take to make this guy, our moronic tool of a president, seem like an ever-so-slightly sympathetic figure? Well, there's the hilarious global dancing he likes to do, and then there's John McCain. McCain parachuted into town yesterday and RUINED THE COMPROMISE that was at least going to maybe try to save the economy before it completely collapsed. Let's see what George Junior has to say, as the stock market opens and plunges.

6:31 AM -- Well, what's that distant light over the mountains? Oh, the sunrise! Let's switch back to D.C. time so we don't feel so, uh, tired.

9:31 AM -- There, that's better! Did you know someone named Santa Claus is on the ballot, in West Virginia, which is a Muslim state which worships Santa Claus and his "boytoy" Black Pieter? Well good, you can stop sending us that AP story now.

9:34 AM -- Oh, let's open our brokerage website, if it hasn't been closed by the government already, so we can follow the stock ticker without that 15 minute delay. Oh, nice, the Dow opens with a quick 125-point drop.

9:39 AM -- Come on out, Jorge!

9:40 AM -- "The legislative process is sometimes ... not pretty." Ha ha, you don't say!

9:41 AM -- That's IT? What?

9:42 AM -- Ugh, CNN and what's her name. Let's go to Morning Joan and see what's up.

9:42 AM -- Still down 120, on the Dow Jones Industrial Index.

9:44 AM -- Hmmm, JPMorgan just sold $10 billion shares at $40-something. MR. BLOOMBERG, STOP THAT NEWS TICKER so we can see, jesus. Okay, $40.50 a share.

9:45 AM -- Dow's down 150.

9:45 AM -- We should just run a liveblog from now until at least November 5, don't you think? Absolute non-stop craziness will reign at least until then ... and then our new Alien/Chinese overlords will take away our internets, the end.

9:46 AM -- NASDAQ down 40, S&P down 17.56.

9:50 AM -- A "member of Congress" just told the CNBC reporter that a "significant number of Republican" votes are still needed to pass legislation. And McCain still hasn't backed anything. Not the Shelby thing, not the Boehner thing, not the the Frank-Dodd-Paulson-White House compromise, nothing. It is a MAVERICK thing to do!

9:53 AM -- Chuck Todd is on MSNBC, live, outside the Treasury (?) .... Sara should be here to cover this! Where is she, anyways?

9:54 AM -- Your editor is going to turn off this fucking teevee and go back to his desk, in the kitchen.


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