2:04PM Shorter John Edwards: Don't forget me. I'm hotter than Hillary.
2:04PM "We will continue to count the votes" despite the snowball-in-hell scenario of winning. Ah. Jobs creation program (at least for Ohio poll workers) not just rhetoric.
2:07PM "I want to take you up in my arms and embrace each and every one of you." NO NO NO STOP! Mommy, Mr. Kerry touched me in a wrong place."
2:10PM He will start speaking in French soon. Been holding it back for so long.
2:11PM STILL can't let us forget he was in Vietnam
2:12PM Thanking those who voted. . . very low bar for thanking. "Thank you for breathing, America." Of course, for FrankenKerry, that is sort of an accomplishment.
2:14PM Piggybank stories unseemly when your wife could by and sell the children themselves many times over.
2:16PM "Your struggles are a part of me." Ah, copping to the Frankenstein thing.
2:17PM Very worrisome: Apparently, there is some chance that one could wake up after an election and not be an American.
2:20PM NEWSFLASH: America both "great" and "good." Also virile. Very very virile.
2:21PM "The dream will never die". . . uhm, oops. Really: "God bless America."
(That low buzz during the speech? The sound of Bob Shrum phoning it in.)