Liveblogging More of This Crap (Obama's Important Thing On TeeVee, Part II)
This is what it was like in Soviet USSR Russia, we bet! The guy, on the teevee, every night. Five year plans, advancing upon the enemy stronghold, great progress made in the Martian Dirt Wars, etc. We don't know FOR SURE about this, as we arrived in the USSR about two weeks after it officially ended -- this is true! -- and by then it was all tits & death metal on the RUBIN black-and-white set. Anyway, is the recession over yet? Has Komrade Obamatalked it away, while his douche-bots in the East Room try to act like they understand anything beyond do-nuts and Twitter?
8:23 PM -- Your Jim Newell's LiveBlogging is right here, but now it is done, until I am done.
8:24 PM -- Budgets. Will they become larger, or smaller? Deficits: bigger, or littler? WHO WILL WIN.
8:25 PM -- Where does this guy think he is, the White House? Way to dress your set, Indonesian.
8:25 PM -- Remember when it was exciting to hear him speak, at the Nuremberg Rallies?
8:26 PM -- "Ask a Mexican."
8:27 PM -- Hey smarty jones did you know that if recreational drugs were LEGAL in the United States, that would sort of "help" the Mexican Government, too?
8:27 PM -- Honestly, when you run for/take public office in this country, do you have to trade in your fucking brain, by law?
8:28 PM -- Gavin Newsom covers the White House for Stars & Stripes? Nice work, greaseball.
8:29 PM -- We bet that American Idol show would be pretty fun about now. It has singing, right? Let's heal through song, and some gal with her ass hanging out her rhinestone thong.
8:30 PM -- John McCain is a student of the procurement process. He is a ... what is that term, for the old people who "audit" college classes? Loser Learner? What are they called? What they do, we know, is show up to RUIN the education of our interns. They generally want to talk about gypsies or the Holocaust or the Depression or whatever, talky talky talk.
8:31 PM -- Ed Henry! Is this the Daily Show guy?
8:32 PM -- Oh wait this is the worm from CNN, never mind. Was there a guy like this .... uh never mind, what about your DAUGHTERS, Obama, hennghhh?
8:33 PM -- Could we have an intermission, some Stevie Wonder or whatever?
8:34 PM -- Oh babies guess what, your editor's comrade and former co-worker and even a former editor of this very site, Mister Choire Sicha, got him a fancy Book Deal today, or it was announced today. Huzzah! It is, like everything, about the Depression.
8:35 PM -- Here is Hammy J. Nolan's post about it, on Gawker. Also check out the NYO article, which uses JIM NEWELL'S photo, which he took and used for JOURNALISM here at WONKETTE, yet it is credited to "Gawker.com," which is a porn site.
8:38 PM -- "President Obama why didn't you condemn the AIG bonuses before they happened, mmmhmmm?"
8:39 PM -- Oh Michele Bachmann demanded that Bernanke, today, promise not to give up the US DOLLAR for the New World Order China-Russian Global Currency Token, and yeah he was all, "I promise."
8:40 PM -- Mike Allen, of the "The Politico," oh what a cunt this guy is, look at him, and if you've got a heterosexual penis it will get a little hard, looking at that.
8:41 PM -- Ha we are just kidding, obviously, not even a jailed sex criminal would get an erection over that.
8:41 PM -- You know who should be here right now, liveblogging? Sara K. Smith.
8:42 PM -- BRB, going to open a (new) bottle of (French) wine, and maybe look for some matches, to burn down the house.
8:44 PM -- Tent Cities!
8:44 PM -- It is just absolutely fucking absurd that there are Tent Cities in America when there are, literally, tens of thousands of vacant, move-in ready tract homes sitting vacant, and cities are paying millions to patrol these places, board up the windows, keep the Jawas from stealing the plumbing copper, etc. Open those goddamned houses and put these families in these vacant houses, now. Good god, do you people need angry BLOGGERS to tell you this?
8:47 PM -- The lady from ABC Radio is surprised -- so surprised, in fact, that all she's got is an Inaugural Day question about race. Obama, the black president, tells her maybe we'll talk about that later.
8:48 PM -- Hey the wingnut from the Washington Times also has an important economic question, about Stem Cells! Mr. (black) President, could you refute the evidence that your executive order reversing the Bush stem cell bullshit actually caused not only the housing bubble and current economic collapse that started two years ago, but also both the original Great Depression and the cancellation of teevee's Golden Girls?
8:49 PM -- America's television stations/networks are LOSING MONEY while you fart-tubes mumble about Stem Cells.
8:52 PM -- Agence France Press! These dudes are great. Your editor's tabloid news site, from long ago (Tabloid.net!), couldn't get an AP feed at the time (the '90s), the AP was against the internet, but AFP came through.
8:53 PM - (And then, years after the website in question had ended its contract and quit publishing anything, these French scumsacks tried to collect tens of thousands of dollars from your editor, employed at that point by UPI, in Washington. History!)
8:54 PM -- If this crap goes on much longer, your editor is going to start reciting dirty jokes he heard at youth hostels in Ireland.
8:56 PM -- "Hey lazy what's his name, why have you not solved Middle East already? I'll take my answer off the air."
8:57 PM -- It's over, thank the god of Hawaiians (St. Shark of Maui).
8:58 PM -- And now the jabbering jack-pigs will do their talky talk. Good god Campbell Brown is HUGE. How many babies is she having? John King has an interactive chart.
8:59 PM -- Fuck these tards.
9:00 PM -- You know who else should be fed into a sausage grinder, to feed America's hungry rats(TM)? All these MSNBC people. Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, Chris Matthews. No more of this.
9:01 PM -- They are just doing "their job," etc., as we are, so maybe it's not "fair," etc. Eh. Newell, are we done? Can I go sit outside and stare numbly at the fence for a while?