Liveblogging Obama Giving Bill Richardson the Latino Consolation Prize
Jeez, that media whore Barack Obama is on the teevee again! Let's liveblog it. He is introducing the Commerce Secretary, who was announced what, two weeks ago? Slow news day, Barry, MMMHMMM? Every big supporter of Obama gets their own press conference which probably takes over The View or Ellen or something, which angers American women. Anyway, Mr. Talky is already talking so let's do this thing.
11:36 AM -- "This morning, a small business is working on the next great idea." Yes, and that idea is Wonkette! We are working on it! (GIVE US A BAILOUT MR. PRESIDENT.)
11:36 AM -- "Proudest, most productive workers in the world, etc." He sounds like John McCain! (A young, sexy John McCain.)
11:37 AM -- "Bill is the fat Mexican secretary this nation needs today." No, no! That's Jonah Goldberg!
11:38 AM -- So is this a good job or what? Seems kind of like a letdown, after being UN ambassador, and governor of New Mexico, and Energy Secretary.
11:40 AM -- "And now I'll let Governor Richardson say a brief word." Oh that's mighty white of you, Barry, to let Bill say something.
11:42 AM -- Energy independence, technology, economy, green jerbs, etc. So Bill is kind of the Energy Czar! Ha ha, that's what Arnold Schwarzenegger wanted to be ... too bad he did that shameful campaign event for Walnuts!
11:43 AM -- Ay carumba, Richardson is speaking Mexican! This is a secret message activating the terrorists!
11:46 AM -- A terrorist Mexican reporter says, "What about this stuff about how Commerce is a consolation prize for Mexicans?"
11:47 AM -- Obama: "Did you notice, senor, how there are no jobs and this is El Grande Depressio?"
11:48 AM -- Has any president-elect guy ever done anything like this, these daily morning press conferences that knock everything off the teevee?
11:49 AM -- What about Bill Richardson's beard? "We are deeply dissapointed," says Obama, that Richardson has shaved off his bum beard. Obama says it was "rugged" and "western," but that Governor Bill wanted to try kissing his own wife, for once, and she does not like beards! Obama will restore the sanctity of marriage!
11:51 AM -- For example, your editor is watching this on Bloomberg Television.
11:52 AM -- And then Obama says he'll use TARP to pave Main Street, with the blood of the unemployed, and then he says Gracias, and walks off into the sunset, with Bill Richardson patting him gently on the back.
11:53 AM -- And now we switch to MSNBC and Andrea Mitchell, who caused this whole Economic Collapse (through her husband), and then the MSNBC reporter notes that Richardson didn't translate his secret Spanish message to the terrorists! Because he was speaking in secret code to Latin American Dictators or something? It's a good thing white Americans are so stupid and can't understand any Spanish beyond "Chalupa Supreme."
11:57 AM -- The Dow has jumped 50 points in the past few minutes. Bill Richardson really is saving the Economy!
11:57 AM -- Charlie Cook or somebody just said this will not be Richardson's last job in the Obama Administration. So he will fix all the moneys and no-job-havings, and then he will replace Hillary Clinton after her body is found in a park with a "self-inflicted gunshot."
11:59 AM -- And the Dow's morning gain has now doubled, all because of Bill Richardson, and Barack's press conference, the end.