Liveblogging Teh Iowaz, Part II
Alan Keyes' bid for the nomination is all but wrapped up. But just in case there are any doubts, more liveblogging! Continued from here.
2:45 -- The LA calculus guy was run out by the unions. Unions and their baby-killing...
2:48 -- NOW we're talking! Huckabee: "Unleash weapons of mass instruction." Brilliant. Education is so much better when warrish.
2:48 -- Alan Keyes is YELLING at REQ. We are going to run this clip like 80 times.
2:50 -- Alan Keyes will not be let out of his house anymore.
2:52 -- Tancredo worked for the Department of Education? Sucks to be someone who paid taxes ergo his salary in the 80s.
2:55 -- Yeah Mitt, it must have been so hard inheriting Massachusetts to govern. It clearly has many problems that only your underpants and capital investment CEO know-how could solve.
2:57 -- Duncan Hunter: Trading with China is a security threat, what with all the aeroplanes needed to fly over the oceans.
2:58 -- Anyone else think Paul's Old Man-Texan hybrid accent just comes off as... gay?
3:00 -- What would Huckabee do in his first year as president? Oh nothing, just make everyone stop hating each other always everywhere forever eternally as one. That, and kill the heathens.
3:01 -- WALNUTS! Security is a "cyberspace challenge"! Is this cyberspace in your cheeks also?
3:02 -- Alan Keyes -- You can't talk about prosperity if you're killing it in the womb. Oh, my bad, there need to be quotes around that: "You can't talk about prosperity if you're killing it in the womb."
3:05 -- When is Dr. Phil on? I want to watch that more.
3:06 -- Videos of... presidency people... talkin bout stuff.
3:07 -- Ron Paul: "The Internet is delightful." That'll buy him at least three Paultard prostitutes.
3:09 -- Alan Keyes totally stole Tancredo's "womb-to-the-tomb" thing. He also just said government should follow God rather than the Constitution.
3:10 -- Ahh... baby killing. Rudy opposes it, but doesn't oppose it at the same time. Not that this is new, it's just solid gold every time.
3:12 -- Thompson: "The Israelis are sometimes helpful." Other times they're stealing our fishies and cat tail likes.
3:14 -- REQ is soooo hard. She just pulled like a grad school admissions interview-style question: "Give two examples that you haven't mentioned before."
3:16 -- Romney: My favorite kind of conservatism is every kind of conservatism. This means conservative racism, conservative non-babykillery and conservative theft from poor people.
3:18 -- Intern Justin would like to sum up the debate: "jesus hates the environment, mexicans hate jesus also, mortgages rates."
3:19 -- Ron Paul, explain how when you're president, anyone will give a shit about your plans.
3:21 -- I'm John McCain, and I have never compromised on any of my batshit views.
3:22 -- Keyes' New Years Resolution for another candidate is that Iowa should vote for him, alankeyes.com, God, Jesus, no no don't cut me of--
3:24 -- Tom Tancredo tells Mitt to have the resolution of not being a retard.
3:25 -- DONE. Only an hour and 25 minutes and by far, BY FAR the longest. We'll be serving up Alan Keyes clips all week though...