7:59: Of course we're watching Fox. Get the a load of that backdrop. What country are we in again? Brit Hume totally thinks today's polling is good news, because "they agree with what we're doing." Yes, but not how we're doing it.
8:00: Look at the soldiers. Or, as they're also known, "props."
8:01: No applause on entrance. What are you thinking, Dan Bartlett?
8:02: First mention of 9/11. Drink.
Continued after the jump.
8:04: Second mention of 9/11. We're going to be soooo drunk.
8:05: "Like most Americans, I see the images of violence and bloodshed." Unlike most Americans, I could have prevented it.
8:08: We heart Fox lower thirds. Some we've seen: "Bush: We will take fight to the enemy." "Bush: Iraq is the latest battlefield in this war." "Bush: We're helping the Iraqis build a free nation." "Bush: Has incredibly big penis."
8:10: You know, it's true, the terrorists haven't prompted a "mass withdrawal." It's been more drips and drabs. An operative writes: "Also civil beheadings are way down, but they don't seem to be touting that."
8:11: Yes, lots of money pouring into Iraq. Most going to Halliburton. That tent they hired 20 people to clean? It's... pretty clean.
8:13: Quoting Gerard Schroeder? He cares about Europe NOW?
8:14: Yes, this is all "to complete the mission". . .that we already accomplished
8:16: Operative comments: "The primary goal of the military is to find and defeat the terrorists? Really? How's that search for bin Laden going?"
8:17: And again from the peanut gallery: "'As the Iraqis stand up, we will stand down?' What is this, muscial chairs?"
8:19: "We've learned that Iraqis are courageous." And easily exploded.
8:19: "Some people have asked me, if the mission is so important, why not send more troops?" Well, we don't really have them.
8:20: "I will continue to be guided by the advice that matters..." Dick, wanna come over here for a second?
8:21: "The next step is to write a good constitution." I.e., NO ASS FUCKING.
8:23: The terrorists want to "create chaos for the cameras". . .BUT THAT'S JOEL SCHUMACHER'S JOB. No, seriously -- Joe Klein, your agent is on line two.
8:24: Even he doesn't believe this shit anymore.
8:26: Oh, 9/11 again, right? "Returns to strike us again?" Are we scared of the terrorists or the DHS?
8:27: Operative wisdom: "'If evil is not confronted, it gains in strength.' Does that explain Cheney's clean bill of health?"
8:29: Military families, "the burden of war falls especially hard on you." Because of the dying and whatnot.
8:30: Wait, we don't need any more troops, but, you know, PLEASE ENLIST NOW.
8:31: Fox very impressed with President's punctuality. "Under 30 minutes," swoons Brit. We will avoid thinking of what it means that now we'll be able to watch "Empire" on ABC after all.
8:33: We hear that ABC's Terry Moran just pointed out that the "the applause that interrupted the speech was initiated by a member of the White House advance team." Well, you know, as long as they don't put a timetable on withdrawal.
8:36: As some colonel on PBS just said, "When you go to war, it's very important that you kill the right people." Seems a good note to end on.
See you tomorrow. — WONKETTE