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President McKinley is pushing the Kenyans over a cliff!And which president from Ohio is pictured here? Why, it's William McKinley. He was assassinated, possibly because the "Wonkette of the Era," Hearst columnist Ambrose Bierce, wrote a funny poem for Cosmopolitan that possibly secretly suggested that a maniac should kill the president. Anyway, Hillary and Barack are still debating things! Let's continue the liveblogging.


9:30 PM -- Part One is here, and the Introductory Pre-Liveblog is here!

9:30 PM -- As commenter SquiqqyFM notes, all the presidents from Ohio were Losers.

9:30 PM -- Also, your associate editor Jim Newell is magic if he got any jokes out of that first long boring dull-ass not-funny half hour. Let's hope it gets better. Let's DRINK.

9:30 PM -- And we're live. At least on this end. Not in Ohio.

9:31 PM -- Russert asks Hillary about being "a little too exuberant." Thank god that's not a problem tonight.

9:32 PM -- Based on this debate, so far, we can gladly endorse Ron Paul for the Democratic nominee.

9:32 PM -- Did the Oscars(TM) suck this hard?

9:32 PM -- We must ask the difficult question: Did Hillary Clinton eat John McCain's head? What else explains the sudden prominence of her chipmunk cheeks?

9:34 PM -- Ha ha, Hillary made a speech about how Barack Obama is just like George W. Bush.

9:34 PM -- Ha ha ha more, John McCain has "vast" experience in foreign policy, in that he has been a tool of lobbyists from here to the Middle East.

9:35 PM -- $12 billion a month x 100 years = Who fucking cares, we'll all be dead then, anyway.

9:35 PM -- Attacking sovereign nations, blowing up our allies, blah blah, whatever.

9:36 PM -- Hillary has been a foreign policy leader for many hundreds of years, due to her cheating president being president in the 1990s.

9:37 PM -- But she will commend Obama for giving a speech, even though "many people gave speeches."

9:38 PM -- Hillary has long advocated a much tougher approach to Pakistan, but is so angry that Barack Obama would meet with the worst dictators, such as Musharraf, when she wants to bomb them, but he says he would bomb them. Wait, what?

9:39 PM -- Barry notes that he was against the war when he was running for Senate. So it mattered or something, and now we have driven the bus into the ditch.

9:40 PM -- Is Hillary ready to drive the bus into the ditch?

9:44 PM -- Russert: "If Iraq goes to Hell." Hey, that's racist!

9:46 PM -- And high-five to our video pal Ian Schwartz who is rocking the Tivo for us tonight. Please let us know if we missed something that really needs to be clipped and posted and then destroyed by fire.

9:48 PM -- Brian Williams: "Will you shut up, Hillary? We have to have like one commercial break every hour or so, unless you want to socialize our teevee, too."

9:48 PM -- Commercial break! Bathroom break! Booze break! BBQ break!

9:52 PM -- Everybody's back from the toilet. The crowd is cheering for some reason!

9:53 PM -- Hillary did a speech that was kind of funny, saying Barack is full of shit with the change and the hope and the sky opeing.

9:53 PM -- And Hillary joyfully responds with the seal laugh. Oh god strike us all dead now ....

9:55 PM -- Barack met women at a table just like this one, which sort of looks like the table shaped like Texas, at the HOOTERS in Austin, where our Sara K. Smith got drunk with a HOOTERS waitress after the Austin debate last week. IT IS ALL CONNECTED.

9:57 PM -- Hillary is talking about the student loans for the special interests again. It is probably a good cause? But is it CHANGE, or what she hears while reciting a bunch of Ohio city names we could also name, from memory?

9:58 PM -- Yow, does Barack Obama love the special interests of Dick Cheney more than you, the poor starving American with no life?

9:58 PM -- Finally, Brian Williams got his video people to get it together and play the right clip! This is one of the few instances when we will note that Wonkette is running a better multimedia operation than MSNBC.

9:59 PM -- Barack wants you to know that he doesn't look down on Hillary just because she was some dude's wife when that dude was president, because the dude was schtupping a fat gal in the Oval Office.

10:00 PM -- New Liveblog Thread, starting now!

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'Bella" by Wonkette Operative 'IdiokraticSubpoenaKommissar'

Sunday already, which means a substantial portion of US America is preparing to be astonished/heartbroken/outraged by the series finale of that show with the dragons, while another portion is just going to stay off Twitter for three days because nothing will make any sense. Yr Dok Zoom tends to come very late to trendy things, so get ready for our own thoughts on the gamy thrones show sometime in about 2023, or never. But we'd be glad to tell you just how much we enjoy the brilliance and humanity of the Cartoon Network series "Steven Universe," which debuted in 2013 and we started bingeing on the Hulu last month, late again.

Hell, we still want to talk about that one Mrs Landingham episode of "The West Wing," which we first watched years after it aired (We finally bought our new used car yesterday, and know one thing: don't drive over to the White House to show it off to President Bartlet). We might even get around to reading Infinite Jest someday. We hear it has something to do with a superhero team and a guy named Thanos. So hey, let's talk about culture and missing out and patching together some knowledge of what's happening anyway.

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Get Me Roger Stone

Roger Stone, his wife would like you to know, is broke. And he is not dealing with it well. Once in khaki suits, gee, he looked swell, full of that yankee-doodle-dee-dum, but now no one calls him Al anymore and he has to stand on a street corner singing "Brother Can You Spare A Dime?"

Yesterday, the conservative but also kind of Never Trumper site The Bulwark revealed the details of a grifty "fundraising" plea sent out by Stone's wife Nydia, begging supporters to give money to the Stones in order to help them keep up the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

It was titled "I am embarrassed to write this."

"Dear Friend," begins the missive. "My husband and I have an urgent new problem and we need your help. I told my husband I was going to write you, one of his most valued supporters. I am embarrassed to write this, but I must."

"Mrs. Roger Stone" tells a tale of woe: FBI agents swooping in on them at the crack of dawn to arrest her husband, a subsequent "fake news" feeding frenzy causing friends and fans to abandon the Stones.

"He laid off all our consultants, contractors and employees, and we have 'pulled in our belts' like so many Americans in 'tight times,'" she wrote, sounding for all the world like a plucky working-class patriot, not the wife of a man who made and lost his fortune lying in the service of power.

She should have been more embarrassed.

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