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Liveblogging VPILF Sarah Palin Greeting America!

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Yikes, the entire world is trying to read about Sarah Palin on Wonkette right now! So crazy. Anyway, our Alaskan GILF is now on stage and we're liveblogging it. She's a pretty girl, so we guess she's qualified to be president! But good lord we did not realize she had such a squeaky voice.


12:19 PM -- McCain is in a ... high-school auditorium? Cameras won't show anything beyond the floor.

12:19 PM -- McCain looks like he got a skin peel and a suntan, or he's slathered in orange makeup.

12:20 PM -- Now he's getting angry at the small crowd for singing him "Happy Birthday."

12:21 PM -- "Read My Book!"

12:21 PM -- So many empty seats! All the bleachers are empty.

12:21 PM -- Ha ha, he wants to "shake up Washington." Maybe he could remodel his houses there!

12:22 PM -- Now he's promising all his rejected GOP guy buddies various pretend positions in his pretend administration.

12:22 PM -- Soon we'll see how high Sarah Palin stands over lil' John McCain.

12:24 PM -- Tough to see if he's on a podium. Anyway, get it over with, Walnuts! Bring her out. Everybody watching already knows Palin's on the ticket.

12:25 PM -- "She's a standout high-school point guard." Ha ha, he picked a running mate based on high-school basketball skills. Will Sarah and Barack have a shooting debate?

12:25 PM -- "A mother of five." CHEERS! Hell yeah this woman can have a lot of kids!

12:31 PM -- Palin about her husband: "And he's a world-class snowmobile racer!" Jesus, she's at a junior high pep rally.

12:39 PM -- She seems like a super lady, and we have always loved her, but dear god Joe Biden is going to eat her for breakfast.

12:40 PM -- Ha ha, she can't pronounce "heroism."

12:44 PM -- Oh good god, listen to this pandering for Clinton lady voters.

12:45 PM -- Well, there we go. Her job is to tell Hillary voters they need to vote for McCain. Might be a bit too late for all that, after last night. And then there's the whole thing about Hillary being a socialist liberal.

12:47 PM -- Hooray for our GILF! She finally made the sorta big leagues!

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