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Science

Dana Rohrabacher Curious If Kremlin Having A Job Fair Anytime Soon, Or ...

Blue Wave knocks out Russia's congressman, SAD!

The Associated Press finally called the race in California's 48th Congressional District late Saturday for Democratic challenger Harley Rouda, bringing an end to nearly 30 years in Congress for US Rep. Dana Rohrabacher. Over the years, Rohrabacher had represented not only his super-conservative Orange County district, but also the Taliban and Russia, and as his district has become more liberal -- or at least less frothingly rightwing John Birch Society-esque -- it was probably only a matter of time until his seat went blue. Rohrabacher's enthusiastic defenses of Donald Trump and of Vladimir Putin only hastened the swing this year. Too bad, so sad!

Let us bid a fond but not drawn out farewell to one of Congress's more spectacular idiots while we hope he's joined by many others, soon.

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Elections

GOP Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith Is A Mississippi Goddam ... Racist

Lynching humor!

Mississippi Senator Cindy Hyde-Smith made a gross comment earlier this month that is both clueless of history and casually racist. On November 2, just before the midterm election, she was at a campaign event with cattle rancher Colin Hutchinson. Demonstrating just how "ride or die" she was for Hutchinson, she boasted, "If he invited me to a public hanging, I'd be on the front row!"

This is an odd statement because public hangings are historically general admission. Maybe she's saying she'd be willing to camp out overnight to ensure she can watch some poor bastard dance at the end of a rope like a common psychopath. She is, of course, un-ironically "100 percent pro-life," because life has value until it's born. Eventually ending that life in a sickening, extrajudicial manner is a pleasant spectator sport. Bring the popcorn.

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Post-Racial America

Ted Nugent Being Subtle Again

Guess he'd know from shitholes.

Ted Nugent, a native of Michigan, took to Facebook Wednesday to express his displeasure at the Badger Chevrolet Wolverine State for electing a whole bunch of Democrats, and maybe one Democrat in particular if you know what he means and we think you do.

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Post-Racial America

Brian Kemp Declares Victory, Quits Job. He Can Move Into 'Tara' Now, He Means Governor's Mansion?

He's done his job real good.

Georgia Secretary of State Brian Kemp resigned his job Thursday, declaring himself the winner of Georgia's gubernatorial election before all the votes have been counted and before the election has been certified. He's a busy guy, and since he's fairly sure Georgia's election was sufficiently fucked up that Democrat Stacey Abrams won't have a chance at a runoff election, he's skedaddling to start his transition.

Abrams, for her part, isn't conceding a damn thing and is gearing up to sue if necessary, to ensure all outstanding ballots are both accounted for and counted.

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Russia

Jim Acosta: American Hero. Wonkagenda For Thurs., Nov. 8, 2018

Another mass shooting, the White House revokes Jim Acosta's press pass, and House Republicans start stabbing each other in the face. Your morning news brief.

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Elections

Let's Toast Our Winners, Gloat Over GOP Losers Because We're Petty That Way

Good news from the frontlines!

Election night upsets are what justify getting only five hours sleep because you stayed up watching returns. What happened in Florida, Georgia, and Texas -- while upsetting -- aren't genuine upsets. They are both disappointing and something the "man, this country bites" part of you expected to happen all along. So, let's focus on the fun upsets, where creeps are sent packing and good folks prevail.

Lucy McBath, Georgia's Sixth District

This is the district Tom Price vacated to screw over the nation during a short-lived and shameful tenure as secretary of Health and Human Services. McBath is an electoral Batman -- inspired to run for office after her 17-year-old son, Jordan Davis, was murdered by a gun-toting white asshole in 2012. Davis couldn't vote for his mom but the 15 percent of black folks in the suburban Atlanta district sure as hell did. She will probably defeat the anti-gay by even Anita Bryant standards Karen Handel. I say "probably" because there's likely a recount and the assorted underhanded Georgia shadiness to plow through first, but McBath's kicked breast cancer's ass twice so I think she's got this. For Jordan.

Oh, and I'm officially greenlighting a "Lucy McBath" movie, and I expect a Best Actress nomination -- not Best Supporting, Best Actress -- for the lead (Zoe Saldana or Kerry Washington), not Emma Stone or Mandy Moore or whoever they cast to play Handel.

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Post-Racial America

Stacey Abrams Not Conceding A Goddamn Thing!

And she shouldn't. Look at her opponent, this disgusting crook!

Voting in Georgia yesterday was exactly the sort of disorganized frustrating fuck-tussle you might expect in a state where the Republican Secretary of State Brian Kemp is simultaneously running for governor AND in charge of making the election run smoothly. Big surprise! In many areas with large black populations, the voting didn't go so smoothly! After "technical issues" at multiple sites -- little things, like poll workers forgetting power cords for machines -- many voters had to wait three or four hours to vote. And that is perfectly convenient and normal and not at all a form of voter suppression because as any fool knows, there's no such thing as voter suppression.

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Elections

Erick Erickson Romancing A Goat, Georgia Voter Suppression Edition!

Isn't that, like, a sin or something?

Great rightwing thought leader Erick Erickson saw a news story today that proved there is NO VOTER SUPPRESSION in Georgia, and in fact, if there's any problems with voting, they were actually caused by LAZY VOTERS. So he took to the Tweeting Machine to tell the world all about it. Without providing a link to the original story, of course, because there's no chance he'd ever fib.

Now, thanks to years of experience parsing rightwing lies, Yr Wonkette was a tad suspicious about this. For one thing, what the hell is the original story? We scanned down the thread, and some helpful soul had posted the link, to a story by Macon teevee station WMAZ, with a triumphant, "see, it's REAL!" or some such comment. Except golly, Erick is stretching things more than just a tiny bit.

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Post-Racial America

Border Patrol Axes Today's El Paso 'Crowd Control' 'Exercise,' Nothing To See Here, Move Along

And who the fuck thought it was a good idea in the first place?

US Customs and Border Protection has decided maybe election day isn't such a great day to practice Border Patrol "crowd control" techniques in the west Texas town of El Paso after all. Or specifically, after Texas and national media brought attention to the exercise with a unified, incredulous, "WHAT EVEN THE FUCK?"

Mind you, it was a routine exercise, the sort of thing law enforcement agencies do routinely, although maybe what's not routine is a very public show of force in a border town ON ELECTION DAY, at the end of a campaign in which Donald Trump has been hyping fears of a "caravan" of asylum-seekers who won't arrive for weeks. Oh, yeah, and in the home town of Beto O'Rourke, the Democratic nominee for US Senate. Other than THAT, it was a perfectly routine training operation.

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2018 State and Local Elections

Maine Gov. Paul LePage To Finally Fulfill His Destiny: Becoming FLORIDA MAN

D-Money, Shifty to join him in retirement.

Gov. Paul LePage promised the people of Maine he would show how much he loves them by getting the fuck out of the state the minute his eight-year infestation of the governor's office ends. Truly, it was a generous valedictory gesture, although he's probably just going to stick the taxpayers with the bill for the many layers of toxic slime he leaves behind in his office. LePage even managed to make retirement in the Sunshine State seem like a Stygian horror.

LePage explained why he'd be becoming a Florida Man who visits Maine in the summers, instead of being a Mainer who winters in Florida:

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Science

Brian Kemp Knows Who The Hackers Are, And It's The Democrats Who Warned Him About Hackers

There IS a hack here, and it's Brian Kemp.

Georgia's Republican candidate for governor, who also happens to be in charge of running Georgia's election, announced Sunday that he was "investigating" Georgia's Democratic Party for supposedly trying to hack the state's election systems. (Those would be the computer systems he has previously said couldn't possibly be compromised, at least if Russia were doing it.) Now, if you want to get all picky about it, the reality is that Democrats alerted Kemp's office to a security problem in his computer systems, and then he turned around and accused them of "hacking," which really is some impressive fuckery, isn't it?

Kemp's office announced the alleged investigation with a very subtle all-caps headline: "AFTER FAILED HACKING ATTEMPT, SOS LAUNCHES INVESTIGATION INTO GEORGIA DEMOCRATIC PARTY." And then of course the office briefed the press on all the evidence that would warrant such a serious accusation two days before the election, haha we are kidding of course.

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Russia

Don't Boo, Vote! Wonkagenda For Mon., Nov. 5, 2018

Trump makes the midterms about scary brown people, and Republicans have a white nationalist problem. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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Elections

Stacey Abrams Is Funny And Awesome And Sweet And Great And Oh Oprah Was There Too

Abrams should really run for something!

It's not commented on often enough on account of her being, you know, a woman and the media being so dude-ish, but next governor of Georgia Stacey Abrams is incredibly charming and personable. She reminds me of the Georgia that feels like my college home. Meanwhile, her Republican opponent Brian Kemp represents the Georgia that would forbid me from buying a home in his neighborhood.

Last week, Abrams had an "adorable off" with Florida governor candidate Andrew Gillum. The two Democrats traded good-natured barbs on Twitter over the upcoming battle between the Georgia Bulldogs and the Florida Gators. The Bulldogs trounced the Gators, and both candidates deserve credit for inspiring me to care even a little about the outcome.

But Tuesday is when Abrams really delivered the Southern charm with extra helpings of "bless your heart." She appeared via satellite on "The View," and after a productive dialogue about voter suppression with fellow sisters in awesome Whoopi Goldberg and Sunny Hostin, co-host Meghan McCain piped-in with her just-as-serious concerns that Abrams was going to take away all the guns her servants use to defend her from poor people or even worse, her personal stash of guns that protect her from the servants.

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Russia

'Consider It A Rifle.' Wonkagenda For Fri., Nov. 2, 2018

They want to have a massacree. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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