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Lonesome Stunt Pulled

Donald Rumsfeld tortures chickens! - WonketteBecause nothing's going on in Washington this month, the PETA people chose today to burn a "life sized" effigy of the Col. Sanders cartoon character -- the Col. Sanders cartoon character that hasn't been used by KFC for years, after a brief and embarrassing marketing experiment.


Because torture is all the rage this month, PETA claims that the long-dead Indiana cook Harlan Sanders doesn't just sell fried chicken for eating, but actually tortures the dumb birds, apparently from beyond the grave.

KFC Protest [Reuters]

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I wasn't ready for Koko the gorilla to die. She was just 46, so still young well past the upper age limit for a gorilla, but I'll miss her. She loved cats, told mildly amusing jokes, and put up with people, so she was a lot like your weird aunt.

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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