Lou Dobbs, President of the United States
We forgot what Lou Dobbs was doing before he became a raving lunatic. We recall his orange hair, with Dobbs beneath it, hosting a show that was about economics or something. Now Dobbs, whose skin has gradually taken on the same light saber-esque glow as his coiffure, has become the of messiah of the anti-Mexican day-laborer movement. Since he's on teevee and our country is filled with crazy people, Lou Dobbs may just run for president.
Clamoring for a presidential candidate who will promote the No-Free-House-For-Pedro school of immigration policy, the Wall Street Journal, fingers crossed, finally reports there there is a possibility that Dobbs will run for president as an independent. The article is full of hilarious quotes saying things like "Dobbs is the only one who could run as an independent and win," the humor lying in the fact that Dobbs shouldn't win the presidency in a million jillion years but since this is America he probably will.
CNN's Lou Dobbs for President? He says no, sort of [Wall Street Journal]