Love Is All Kerry Needs

From this month's Interview magazine:

    Ingrid Sischy: Do you remember the last time we saw each other in California?

    Courtney: Was that the night I brought John Kerry to the birthday party at the Beverly Hills Hotel that you were throwing for Elton John?

    IS: No, but that was funny too. I thought you knew him really well when you walked in with him.

    CL: No, no, no. I had just seen him, and I said, "Do you want to come with me?" He looked at me and he must have been scared shitless, right? And I said, "I'm going to take you to a really good me." I grabbed his arm and I said, "You're really gonna thank me." It was a long walk to the room where the dinner was, and he said, "Is there any paparazzi..." And I said, "If you finish that sentence, I'm going to hex you." What I liked about it was that he trusted me and he took my arm. That's how he got my vote.

Sooooooo many possibilities! The comedy gods have truly blessed us.

Here: Kerry's endorsement by a foreign leader finally shows up! If by foreign you mean "from another planet."

No, wait: An endorsement from Courtney Love? I guess that means Kerry has the drunken crack whore vote sewn up!

Hmmm. What about: At least Senator Kerry showed some restraint -- he went for her arm and left her breasts alone.

Thank you, comedy gods!


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