Ma And Pa Duggar Having Sexxxy Time At Christian Diddle Camp For Marrieds

That's her O face, on the left. And that's his, on the right.

Sometimes at the end of a year when the world finds out you kinda sorta covered up how your oldest son, a Family Values Warrior like you, molested girls, including your own daughters, and then you lost your reality TV show (which made you SO MUCH $$$$), and then you found out that same son has been cheating on his wife in a rough sex way with porn stars he finds on the internet, which has landed him in the Finger-No-More Halfway House For Christian Fingers, you just have to stop and TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOUR OWN DAMN SELVES. And that is why Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are at the Super Sexy Jesus Time Sleepaway Diddle Camp for married Christians just like them, who need to find some time to reconnect, so that maybe the Lord will see fit to use Daddy's God-Fearing Penis as a Super Soaker to put 19 more babies (and counting!) into Mommy's Good Christian cannonball vagina.

At least that's what we guess the Duggars are doing, we don't fucking know. Let's take a look at the place Our Lord has chosen for the Duggars to rekindle their boning game:

That's ... nice.

Oh fuck, they've gone to slob each other's knobs on the set of Hee-Haw.

One more:

JUST SAYING A KNEE-SLAPPER, that is the not Ma and Pa Duggar's diddle camp, that is The Garden Of Earthly Delights by Hieronymus Bosch. The Duggars are not on vacay there.

No, they are at the Fort Rock Family Camp, in Arkansas! It's probably just as sexy, because hey, here are some of the workers. Are these the counselors who help set the mood to make the starbursts fly out of the Duggars' bathing suit areas, at each other? It would be irresponsible not to speculate! We bet Jim Bob gets great lovemaking tips from the guy in the middle, Big Daddy.

It must be pretty great at Fort Rock, because the Duggars have left a special testimonial on their website, which may or may not have been updated in a while!

We’re the Duggar Family, you might know us from TLC’s hit show, ‘19 Kids & Counting.’ [Ed: Or from our family's various dirty boning scandals!] Our family met the Forsyth’s back in 2002 when they had just moved from Texas to Arkansas with the vision of Fort Rock Family Camp. We have literally watched this vision transform into a first class camp and retreat center. If you are looking for a unique family camp experience, Fort Rock’s various events offer not only a fun vacation, but also a safe christian environment for your whole family to enjoy!

Whatever, sounds boring. Let's look at their activity pages. There you will find the normal things like zip-lining and canoeing and watersports (not that kind, you perverts!), but there is a thing you can do for special called "Tomahawk Throwin' and Skillet Tossin'" and yr Wonkette swears to Jesus Christ Our Lord And Savior that in the split second before we clicked, we said to ourselves, "Oh no fucking way, if this skillet tossin' thing is going to be a sexist, gross way to test wimmins' ability to handle kitchen utensils, we are DONE WITH THIS POST," and then we clicked and !!!!!!!!!

Jim Bob Duggar is at the Arkansas Christian diddling camp for Christian marrieds, gettin' his skillet tossed by his wife, Michelle. MUST FUCKING CREDIT WONKET.

Jessa and Ben are there too, doing the marriage retreat, even though she's about 21 months pregnant. Wonder if they're making Jessa toss Ben's skillet too.



Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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