It would seem that Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have taken your Wonkette's advice, about how they need more babies, since the Muslims are going to outnumber the Christians very, very soon (55 years from now). So off to the marital bed they have been skipping, because according to their own words, they've been fuckin'. In a new interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, they explained that they are SO EXCITED that their grown-up opposite-married kids are having all the babies (three this year, which is far more output than Michelle ever was able to manage when the Duggar Vagina Clown Car industry was a one-woman operation), and if The Lord is still interested, they'd love it if He would put some more Duggar babies in her babycave, via the holy rod and staff of Jim Bob:

INTERVIEWER: Jim Bob, you said you're totally open to you and Michelle having some more babies!

JIM BOB: Yes! And we're still trying.

MICHELLE: And we would LOVE more children, if God saw fit to bless us and give us more, we would welcome them, just be thrilled about that.

JIM BOB: But we also realize that we may not be able to have any more, but this year, we're having three grandchildren, and I have a feeling it's just going to multiply out from there.

EXPONENTIAL DUGGAR SPAWN MULTIPLICATION! They're going to have to change the name of their teevee program so many more times!

So anyway, they're making sex on each other all the time, and hopefully Jesus will see how hard they're boning and see fit in His Infinite Wisdom to give them more babies, but they know that sometimes Jesus says "no" to prayers, sadface.

But all the grandbabies! The Anna Duggar one (wife of Josh, the dumb asshole who works for the Family Research Council hate group) is about to have a baby; the Jessa one just announced that, while she may know that atheists aren't real, due to Creation Science, the baby in her butt SURE IS; and the Jill one birthed one earlier this month. And apparently Jill had a very hard labor, but made it through, so we are very happy for her. Michelle Duggar says she told her daughter, "There's a reason they call it LABOR," and the teevee interviewer agrees and says, "You should know!" Hahaha, broodmare joke from the Jesus teevee interviewer!

[contextly_sidebar id="zSrl4cBaL1w75duZbsnY8Od765A498a3"]

So anyhoo, Michelle Duggar is clearly feeling the pressure, what with all her babies having babies, and doing it faster than she does, so it's time to do some more P-in-V for the J.C., praise Him!

[Charisma News]


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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Republicans are devouring each other's carcasses, and we are here for it! Especially when one of those Republicans is King Kris of the Kansas Votefucker Klan ... errr, Clan! It's been a week since Kansans cast their votes in the gubernatorial primary, and the GOP looks to be rolling up its sleeves for a slugfest.

As we type, Kobach leads by 298 votes out of more than 314,000 cast -- a whopping 0.00095 percent, if you round up! The Kansas GOP begged Donald Trump to stay out of the race and leave the field clear for sitting governor Jeff Colyer, who took over when Sam Brownback wandered off to bring Jesus to the Hottentots on behalf of the US government. Safe bet that Colyer would be gearing up for the general election now if President Twitterthumbs hadn't flapped his yap. So thanks for that, Donny!

No, really, THANKS!

Remember the hanging chad debacle in Florida? Now picture it in a landlocked state with more cows than people. It's like fantasy island for Devin Nunes, ALLEGEDLY.

Oh, but we are to kid!

After first insisting he wasn't going to recuse from the counting, Secretary of State Kris Kobach (one and the same!) wrote Colyer a fabulously bitchy letter agreeing to hand off the tabulation to his deputy, Eric Rucker. Colyer had made the shocking suggestion that Kobach delegate responsibility to the Kansas attorney general, rather than his own political appointee, and Kobach was stretched out on the settee with a fit of the vapors at the gross impropriety of it all!

I will not breach the public trust and arbitrarily assign my responsibilities to another office that is not granted such authority by the laws of Kansas.

After several anguished paragraphs, Kobach closed by remonstrating that Colyer was betraying his office by destroying the faith of Kansans in the sacred integrity of their electoral process.

As governor of Kansas, your unrestrained rhetoric has the potential to undermine the public's confidence in the election process. May I suggest that you trust the people of Kansas have made the right decision at the polls and that our election officials will properly determine the result as they do in every election.

Said the guy whose entire adult life has been dedicated to whipping up panic about millions of imaginary illegal alien voters.

So now these two princes can kick the crap out of each other WITH VOTES, specifically, provisional ballots cast by unaffiliated voters under the supervision of poorly trained poll workers. Kansas holds closed primaries, meaning only registered Republicans can vote to select the GOP candidate, BUT an unaffiliated voter can cast a vote by checking a box identifying as a Democrat or a Republican at the polling place. This was news to some poll workers, who mistakenly directed over one thousand unaffiliated voters to use provisional ballots without checking the box indicating party preference. Whoops!

So, will those provisional ballots be counted based on voter intent? Or tossed based on strict interpretation of the statute? And does Kansas law mandate tossing mail-in ballots that arrive without a postmark on Wednesday, since there's no forensic proof that they were mailed before midnight on Tuesday? And how disgusted will the Kansas electorate be when one of these assholes emerges from the melée holding the other one's scalp? And how many millions of dollars are going to be spent on litigating the Republican primary while this nice lady Laura Kelly, the Democratic minority whip of the Kansas Senate, is out campaigning for November?

Even before this debacle, Kobach looked significantly weaker against Kelly than Colyer, with self-funded Libertarian Jeff Orman threatening to throw a wrench in the works. The Wichita Eagle reports on a Remington Research Poll conducted in July:

In a Kelly-Orman-Kobach race, the poll puts Kelly and Kobach effectively in a dead heat — 36 percent for Kelly and 35 percent for Kobach, with Kelly's lead within the margin of error. Orman has 12 percent.

Colyer leads in a three-way race with Kelly and Orman, according to the poll. In that scenario, Colyer receives 38 percent of the vote, while Kelly gets 28 percent and Orman receives 10 percent.

Which is ONE POLL, in a deeply red state, but ... Kobach is a crap candidate who's likely to emerge from this fight with two black eyes and a pissed off base. If there's anyone who can blow this election, it's Kris Kobach.

Keep fighting, Kris! You can do it! (And now we need a shower.)

And YOU need an OPEN THREAD!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Money us, PLEASE! Throw a tip in the jar, or click here to keep your Wonkette snarking forever.

[Kobach letter / Wichita Eagle / Mother Jones / Kansas City Star]

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While most people spent this weekend telling Nazi punks to fuck off, a couple 11-year-olds were in Las Vegas hacking into voting machines. Why? BECAUSE IT'S FUN!

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