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Macaca Returns: George Allen Running For Senate Again

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  • A Man In Full.Still bummed out over America's comedic loss of Christine O'Donnell? Relax! There's always another Top Tier Clown that will emerge to provide the laughs in the next election cycle. And the 2012 Humor Olympics have begun, because George Allen will announce today that he's running for the Senate in Virginia, in 2012! Just six years after this racist buffoon was laughed off the political stage, he is "making a comeback" -- this means he will carry a football around for the next two years straight, often while wearing cowboy boots, saying "Reagan" a lot, and sometimes even riding an alive horse. It was the weird "Old Europe" anti-negro slur macaca that ruined his re-election attempt in 2006, but the real beauty of that minor moment was the way it revealed a lifetime of the kind of ugly, deeply racist frat-boy crap you would generally expect from an old white southern rich twit but that isn't really acceptable these days in states like Virginia, with its whole northern half filled with semi-modern people who have college degrees and hybrids and most of their teeth. Also, George Allen is a Jew, of all things! He freaked the hell out about that, too. A faux-redneck Jew who loves football and hates the Negro! And now George Allen is back! He's the guy who stuffed the severed heads of animals into the mailboxes of black families, because .... well, anything's fine when it comes to terrorizing African-Americans, right? [AP/NYT]
  • Way back in 2007, your president George W. Bush signed a new law that would regulate the manufacture of light bulbs -- old, wasteful incandescent would be replaced by new low-energy bulbs. California, as usual, wanted to get going earlier with these good regulations that reduce our energy dependency, so the last new incandescents hit California shelves at the end of 2010. This time next year, the whole country will be under the Bush-era common-sense law. So, obviously, Republican congressional jackass Joe Barton is protesting this federal law enacted four years ago and signed by a Republican president. (Republicans are all about having endless "choice" these days, unless it means the "choice" ladies sometimes like to have, regarding the use of their uterus.) [NPR/AP]
  • "Consumers" are still bummed out around the world, perhaps from the indignity of being called "consumers" instead of "people," but the consumers/people in the United States are still far more bummed out than the ones in Europe and Asia and wherever. [Marketwatch]
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Corey Stewart, the Minnesota transplant to Virginia who's made protecting "Confederate Heritage" a top issue in his campaign for the US Senate, accused a nosy New York Times reporter of breaking into the apartment of one of his aides. It's a terrific accusation, because while there's no evidence at all and the story makes no damn sense, that doesn't matter at all to people who'd vote for Corey Stewart. They already hate the evil media and know those nasty reporters are capable of all the depravity in the world.

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Hey, remember that hilarious time when Paul Ryan and Kevin McCarthy got caught on tape joking that LOL, Donald Trump and Congressman Dana Rohrabacher were totally on Putin's payroll? WaPo got the goods:

"There's two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump," McCarthy (R-Calif.) said, according to a recording of the June 15, 2016 exchange, which was listened to and verified by The Washington Post.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher is a Californian Republican known in Congress as a fervent defender of Putin and Russia.House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) immediately interjected, stopping the conversation from further exploring McCarthy's assertion, and swore the Republicans present to secrecy.

It's funny 'cause it's true! ALLEGEDLY. Earlier this month, Congressman Lubyanka Rohrabacher told Fox reporter Elex Michaelson that DNC hack was obviously an inside job.

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