Here is some interesting news, as we U.S. Americans begin our annual weekend of getting real drunk and shooting off fireworks, due to something we read in a history book about America but can't quite remember. (Muskets were involved.) Did you know that, according to 53% of Americans, our country has a "special relationship" with God? Take THAT, 195 other countries in the world, you all are just acquaintances with God, whereas He is taking US to the prom, and is going to ask us to gay marry Him any day now, WE JUST KNOW IT:

In total, 53 per cent of 1,000 people surveyed agreed with the statement that God has a special relationship with America; a figure that rose to 67 per cent of evangelical Christians.

As it happens, it's not just evangelicals who believe that we are Favored Above Other Nations, as the study says that 62% of African-Americans and 59% of Southerns also believe it.

Now look, we think America is pretty great (GOD BLESS AMERICA ETC!), but we, as liberals, are open to the idea that God might like other countries too, even though they are full of foreigns. And we also think that maybe if we hadn't constantly had that whole "American Exceptionalism!" thing crammed down our throats our entire lives, we as Americans might be better equipped to handle the actual problems this nation faces, instead of just assuming that our healthcare and our educational system and our baseball and our BBQ are the best. (Factcheck: Our baseball and our BBQ are the best.)

And also, we think just MAYBE this is why a lot of Americans don't lose too much sleep over things like bombing the fuck out of other nations, or exploiting them for oil, or [liberal words redacted for the sake of America's feelings].

Anyway, God Bless America, You're A Grand Old Flag, and let's make America's gay husband Jesus very proud this year by supporting healthcare and not killing each other and caring for the least of these and shit like that, ooh, gay husband Jesus likes it when you talk like that. Yeeeeah.

[Christian Today]


Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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